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Reading

Propaganda, American-style

How to Charm Me

Still eat the cookies I baked at 475 degrees when they were supposed to be baked at 375. The dial on the oven was all fuzzy.

How to Annoy Me

Ask me, “Are you going to finish that burrito?” You even think about reaching over here and you will promptly lose two fingers.

Punch Drunk

Every television or radio journalist from Dan Rather on down should have the word “flotilla” striken from their vocabularies. Every corporate employee within earshot of any other living, breathing fellow employee should have the word “genericize” scribbled on a chalky piece of paper and shoved down their throats. Every indie music critic who uses the [...]

Thinking

I refuse to genericize my template.

Enjoying

Bubble-Squeak

How to Charm Me

Assure me that Temptation Island will return for an encore season.

How to Annoy Me

When I catch you picking your nose in your car, instantly pretend that it was just an itch you had to scratch. That’s a mighty deep itch, motherfucker.

Thinking

What am I going to do with 36 rolls of toilet paper?

Listening

Mu-ziq: Royal Astronomy