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A War Without Sacrifice



The Dancing Dooce

Only because I’ve had a grande Mocha Valencia this morning do I think that the free dance lessons I took last night made any sort of sense. First of all, I don’t drink coffee except on the weekends, and only then when I feel like I’ve earned those two shots of liquid espresso ecstasy. Coffee [...]


I’ll ëproductizeí your ass is what I’ll do.


Devo: Greatest Hits


World of Wassco

How to Charm Me

When your retarded cat begins terrorizing the other cats, shut him in your top sock drawer.

How to Annoy Me

Drive four inches behind the car in front of you, at 87 mph.

Things I Plan to Cook With My Newly Obtained Kitchen Aid That I’m Not Sure How to Use

1. Betty Crocker Supreme cookie bar mix that I will pass off as homemade chocolate chip cookies made from scratch. 2. Canned chili 3. Barbecue ribs 4. Orange juice 5. Popsicles 6. Cheerios 7. Microwavable frozen enchiladas packaged by our friends at The Old El Paso. 8. Quaker Instant Oatmeal 9. Toast 10. Peanut butter [...]


Your cat is dumb and ugly.