Archives by date

You are browsing the site archives by date.

The Great Pants Disaster 2001™

When two lanky people with a collective inseam of over 144 inches decide against everyone else’s better judgment to cohabitate, they must allocate a large percentage of their daily schedule to battling the inevitable pants plague: pants on the floor, pants on the nightstand, pants strewn about the kitchen table, pants discarded and forgotten peeking [...]


My doctor said I have veins perfect for heroin injection. Isn’t that, like, illegal or something?


Knife in the Water: Red River



How to Charm Me

Resist the urge to giggle when I slam my forehead into the dresser and temporarily blackout.

How to Annoy Me

Tell me to stop drinking so much caffeine. You’re my primary care physician, what do you know?