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I Want My Demographically Legitimate Music Television

98.32% of the four days I’ve had functioning digital cable I’ve done nothing but eat Grape Nuts and watch MTV2, which according to the rapidly accumulating poundage on my thighs proves that indulging in said subscription is perhaps the worst decision of my adult life, right behind accepting a scholarship to BYU, but there aren’t [...]


The (International) Noise Conspiracy: Survival Sickness


Frank Sturges – Artist Representatives

How to Annoy Me

Answer the questions I ask outloud in my sleep. I’m not talking to you.

Drunken Underpants Remodeling Again

“Remind me to not use power tools drunk. The anality compensation kicks into overdrive, resulting in terseness and irritability. I’m still laughing at you leaving the room and me holding the drill and needing your help and saying your name about 5 times. And you not hearing it. Or if you did hear it, ignoring [...]


If sleeping were an Olympic sport, I would be sponsored by Serta.


Supergrass: In It For The Money



How to Charm Me

Play two Radiohead videos, back-to-back. Digital cable IS worth $85 a month!

November 14, 2001