I have a nasty habit of cramming an entire list of things to do into a short four or five hour span, eventually ignoring everything on that list and crawling up into a ball underneath a down comforter on the bathroom floor. I blame it on every inclination I ever learned as a college student: [...]
Exert a characteristically homosexual flare for holiday decoration even though you are consummately straight.
Refuse to let Britney grow up. Apparently, she’s not that innocent.