Chuck totally wanted me to dress him up in a jaunty bow and ribbon. I didn’t even have to bribe him with cheese and bacon-flavored biscuits to get him to sit still for these portraits, not at all. Jon and I will be spending the next several days in various corners of the Salt Lake [...]
So I’m lying there on this table, except it isn’t a table but more like the hybrid offspring of a dentist’s chair and a psychiatrist’s couch, very cold and covered in butcher paper (which is appropriate on so many levels), and I’m thinking that this lady is doing a disproportionately large amount of talking to [...]
Photos by Me and Scrumptious Bearded Armstrong.
One should never participate in a spontaneous bikini wax. If one is taking regularly scheduled potty breaks, one is obviously not spending enough time looking for full-time employment and therefore will not qualify for an unemployment insurance extension. My dog looks smashing in styling gel and bobby pins. People should reconsider naming their children Kemper, [...]
There are several reasons why I left the Mormon Church, all of which I’ve only ever articulated to my husband and, on occasion, my dog. Many of these reasons are not only related to why I left Utah in the first place, but they are also inextricable from Utah culture as a whole. And I [...]
The thing about our dog is, you see, our dog only poops on grass. And this is not something we necessarily trained him to do, to poop only on grass. In fact, I don’t know why someone would actually train their dog to poop only on grass. Because if someone like that ever got stuck [...]
Here is a series of 50 photos taken a little before and during our trip up the coast to Seattle. We took well over 300 photos, many of them completely banal, so I whittled them down to a consumable morsel and tried to put everything in context. Thank you for reading during this whole stressful [...]
So the moving people who have all of our stuff, including our computers with our hard drives containing all of the data we need in order to work with our existing freelance clients, these movers, these people who hold hostage my lovely velvet couch and my summer clothing with the pretty delicate stitching and every [...]