I ate an entire head of broccoli while watching the British version of “Whose Line is it Anyway?” last night in bed. Afterward, I battled two whole hours of gaseous blotation wherein the elastic on my underoos nearly snapped against the force of the bubbling pressure. “I’m going to be farting broccoli all night,” I [...]
Bettie Serveert: Palomine
Remark to a table of your peers, “Daniel Boone was the one who fought at the Alamo, right?”
Grow your sideburns into the shape and size of Louisiana. It’s hurtful.