1. I ate all the Cookie Crisp by 10am Sunday morning. That’s five whole days without Cookie Crisp. One, two, three, four, FIVE. 2. I woke up Monday morning with three pubescent pimples on my face: one on my right cheek, two on my left cheek. It wouldn’t have been so bad had my lover [...]
I am going to marry the coolest man on earth with the best smelling neck on earth.
For leaning out my window and telling that cat to shut up already.
Love me even though I’ve cleaned everything twice with an anality that would drive most mortals away screaming.