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Feeling Guilty

For downloading the entire new Kylie Minogue album and loving every single second of it.

How to Charm Me

Suggest that Dick Cheney is hiding out in Jennifer Lopez’s hair.

How to Annoy Me

Remind me that the Easter Bunny’s handwriting is remarkably similar to my father’s.

Confessions of a Hot Sleeper

It’s not something I’m terribly proud of, the hot sleeping thing. I mean, I don’t just sleep warmly, or even heatedly. When I sleep I emit measurable amounts of toxic radiation, veritable fucking oodles of hot, hot hotness. I’ve been a hot sleeper since childhood, and so I’ve never known how to sleep differently. How [...]