Girl A: Hey, did I wake you up?
Girl B: Huh? Um, no. No, I’m awake. I’m totally awake.
Girl A: No you’re not. I woke you up. I’m sorry.
Girl B: No, really. I’m awake. I wasn’t sleeping.
Girl A: Are you sure?
Girl B: Am I sure?
Girl A: Yeah, are you sure you weren’t asleep?
Girl B: Well, do you want the truth?
Girl A: Of course I want the truth! I assumed you were telling the truth.
Girl B: I didn’t necessarily think you wanted the truth.
Girl A: Why would you think that I wouldn’t want the truth?
Girl B: Because I was sleeping and I wasn’t thinking clearly.
Girl A: I knew it! I knew I was going to wake you up.
Girl B: How did you know you were going to wake me up?
Girl A: Because you’re always sleeping. Every time I call you I assume I’m going to wake you up.
Girl B: I am not always sleeping!
Girl A: Yes you are! You talk about it all the time on your website.
Girl B: You read my website? How long have you been reading my website?
Girl A: Oh come on, you know I read your website. Don’t even pretend that you don’t know that I read your website. We all read your website.
Girl B: Who is “we all”?
Girl A: What does that matter? Just admit that you sleep all goddamn day long.
Girl B: But I don’t sleep all goddamn day long, just most of the day. Why do you care anyway?
Girl A: Because I should be able to call you without worrying whether or not I’m going to wake you up.
Girl B: So I shouldn’t sleep, ever? I should stay awake every moment of the day in case you call?
Girl A: Oh shut up. Stop being so dramatic. Save it for your website.
Girl B: This phone call is quickly becoming a drag.
Girl A: Then write it up on your fucking annoy list.
Girl B: Don’t tempt me.
Girl A: Life isn’t a bunch of side bar anecdotes, you know. There’s so much more than that HTML thing. I just get worried about you sometimes. That’s all.
Girl B: Yeah, whatever. So, what’s up? Why did you call?
Girl A: Well, I was wondering if you could put me on your charm list.
Girl B: Do what?
Girl A: I just think it’s time I made the charm list, that’s all.
Girl B: I just think it’s time I start a shit list.
Girl A: Oh, grow up!
Girl B: Oh, shut up!
Girl A: When I look at you I throw up!
Girl B: . . .
Girl A: . . .
Girl B: So, can I use you’re real name?
Girl A: Nah.
