• http://www.perotheus.com dirty pero

    My dog, is 7. He still walks in circles for 10 minutes or more… searching for the prime spot to “go poop.”

    Once he narrows this down to a smaller area he paces back and forth about 10 times, the full 6′ length of his leash [when he is on one].

    Then he finally gets in position. If ANYTHING happens at this point, he stops. This can be: a car driving by, a bird, a squirrel… somebody 2 blocks down the street getting out of a car…

    :\ good luck with your small animal.

  • http://www.realityremixed.com Keith

    Congratulations on your marriage, health & happiness to you & your husband! I don’t know if you remember me, but we exchanged e-mails at the beginning of the year. As of our last contact, I was planning on moving to Los Angeles. I’m here now — moved to L.A. in February. Life’s kicking ass and I’m having fun at my job.

    Anyways, being that I’m still relatively new to L.A., I’m still exploring
    and looking to find new places and meet new people. I’d love to meet you & Jon realtime at some point. Given your previous habits of putting up cool music, I may be able to help you out in the “finding new music” department because of where I work — it’s actually because of you that I started putting up MP3s on my own site for people to discover some new tunes and artists.

    Hope to hear from you.

  • http://www.jennifermurray.net Jen

    Welcome back Heather. Congratulations!

  • http://www.reddeyez.com ryan

    Welcome back! Congratulations on your marriage! Great pics!

  • http://qtopia.blogspot.com NaughtyNellie

    I’m laughing! The two of you taking turns, “Go Poop! Go Poop! Go Poop!” tee hee

    I haven’t had a dog in several years, but I do have a couple of cats.

    “go potty” & “get in the box” have worked fairly well.

  • http://kevin.phrenzy.org Kevin

    It’s great to have you back. :)

  • Jason

    a friend of mine kept jokingly telling me to let go and I finally stopped checking your site. The same friend just said to me “check dooce!”

    Great to have you back…

  • http://www.tribolum.com Electrin

    Hey Heather, it’s really good to see you back.

  • http://www.muc.muohio.edu/~Muraii/ Muraii

    I bet that the downfall of modern society can be pinned on this fascination with training our body politic to pee in prescribed vessels. The land should be our shitter, any porch, stoop, truck hood, cubicle chair, or subway seat should be fair game for my micturation needs.

    I mean, he was no genius, but Freud nailed two of the most crucial developmental stages, the anal and the phallic. If we were freer with our dirtiest deeds, we’d be freer with everything else.

    And, yes, I did grow up on a farm, and I’ve preliminarily inculcated my beautiful children (well, the boys, cuz it’s just easier) into going “farm-style”. The damnable orthodoxy engine has warped their aesthetics, so it’s kind of a hard sell.

    But, I shan’t be stalled, by men or cows.

  • http://www.antisocialdiva.com antisocial diva

    it took us two years to train our beagle puppy. i really can’t even begin to say what the key was or why the light went off in his head but i am so, so glad it finally did. they are stubborn but so cute.

    good luck and i’m glad you’re back. :)

  • http://www.doan.ws Mike

    My wife and I are meeting the dog trainer for the first time tonight to resolve our “go poop” problem. Good luck with your pup.

  • http://kdblog.com kd

    woohoo! you’re back!

    and you have my undying admiration, for your achievements in potty training. me? my kitty will almost always go outside. but, he’s only 4 or 5 years old. these things take time, right?

  • http://aprilgem.com/log April

    Your dog not going poop is better than your dog going poop where and whenever he pleases. My cat is well trained to poop; she goes to her litter box, circles and circles in the sand, and promptly poops outside of the box almost every single time.

    I was hoping you’d be back!

  • http://www.shellen.com Jason Shellen

    Welcome back Heather! Congrats on the eloping as well. Cheers!

  • http://ratty.surreally.net ratty

    ogh. potty training ANYTHING is just sucky. phoooey. AAARGH!

  • http://planetafroasia.com sadia

    Congrats on the marriage. Still, my conception of you as the single most hot woman on earth has not been shattered. Good job, Jon.
    ;)

  • http://n/a Todd

    Well, my advice is to choose wisely. A former college roommate and his girlfiend adopted a dog named Brixton. Often one of them was seen on campus sweetly screaming “Brix, Empty!” Bear in mind you potentailly need to say this phrase often and loudly. My wife tells me our friends tell thier pug to “get busy”. I think that’s a bit less rediculous to say. And makes me miss The Arsenio Hall Show. (woof-woof!)

  • http://www.notsosimple.net/blog/ meegan

    welcome back!!

  • http://taraonline.org Tara

    Heather, congratulations on your marriage and I am so glad to see you on the web again! You and your husband both have sites that I love. I too kept checking back every so often and I am so glad I did!

  • http://www.exmsft.com/~lauriekl/ Peanut’s Slave

    I’m still working on training my small animal. Really small, as in 4.5 lbs of bark, snarl, and woof. Let’s just say that as soon as a small animal starts to pee, she is pretty much done. Rushing over and trying to pick her up to find a more appropriate location to pee is pretty much useless. “Go pee” and “Go poop” didn’t really work too well for us (her name is “Peanut”, which may have caused some garden-pathing) but “hurry up” has promise. Good luck. PS: At least yours poops outside.

  • http://journallife.com Sueellen

    First time here, wanted to say hi! We are STILL trying to get the go poop and pee thing down with our 8 month shih tzu, its driving me nuts!LOL Any little thing distracts him and then thats it, he won’t do it!

  • http://www.puppies.ca Sandra

    I say Go Poop to make my dogs poop. When they begin the process of pooping I say “Good poop” but I make it sound sort of like “goo poop”, which sounds sort of like go poop. I like to believe this makes the association clear in their minds.
    It kind of works.

  • http:www.jeanettecline.com Jeanette

    I must echo the sentiment of many respondents. I AM SOOO HAPPY YOU ARE BACK! Unfortunately, I didn’t find out unitl just now and you’ve back for almost a month.
    Thank you!!

  • http://amindofamind.blogspot.com Naaman

    My management team seems to think positive reinforcement works, but they give things like cards and candy. How about money and stock?

  • http://superiour.co.uk Toby

    It is very good to see you back. <3

  • http://www.untickalock.com ko-pojke

    this worked for us…

  • http://thetextobscured.net Ismat

    We went through a very similar process with my niece. Whenever she would pee in the toilet, she’d get treats and hugs and kisses, and I kept thinking, “Man, it was great to be a kid. I never get applause when I exit the bathroom.”

  • http://www.beltzner.ca/ifeelafel feelafel

    It’s fitting that you returned on the 20th birthday of the :) , as I’m so happy that you’re back.

    Good luck with Senator Chuckles – my mother says that she toilet trained me with Smarties (like M&Ms), if that helps.

  • http://queserasera.blogspot.com Sarah B.

    My parents used chocolate chips to lure me to use the toilet, Nilla wafers down the hall to prompt me to crawl, an Annie locket when I learned to tie my shoes, a Cabbage Patch Kid if I stopped sucking my thumb, and an E.T. doll if I learned to ride without training wheels. All were highly successful, but life seems so empty now.

  • http://www.escribitionist.com Jane Doe

    We tried to teach our cats to go in the toilet.

    To make a long story short, we gave up and bought bigger litter boxes with covers on them.

  • http://www.megchem.com megchem

    My roomate’s dog (if she leaves i claim custody) was trained to “hurry up”….her mom had taught her that as a puppy then when the roomate got custody she suffered several weeks on no pooping, well at least not pooping appropriately. The roomate found out the command…works like a charm

  • http://www.thefalseidol.com/matej Matej

    I just laughed myself into convulsions… Thanks, I needed that. P.S. I’ve completely given up on toilet-training my ferret. I find that works pretty good.

  • http://www.perilsofleisure.com Paula

    Hm. I think “Hurry Up” is probably the universal code word in dog-speak for Go Poop. A few people I know use this term and when we started using it with our dog, it worked like a charm.

    I’m so glad to see you back. Congratulations on the wedding and I have to ask…where was Chuck during the festivities?

    Aww.

  • http://www.helenjane.com helenjane

    yesterday the little girl in the stall next to me sighed sadly and as her mom flushed said, “bye bye poo poo. bye bye.”

  • http://www.scribbling.net gina

    YAY! dooce is back!!!

  • http://paulsboutique.blogspot.com Paul Gutman

    I gotta say, if *I* was doing my business and someone yelled my name suddenly, my faucet would turn off in a real hurry.

  • Rengirl

    I’m wetting my pants in excitement that you’re back.

  • http://arielmeadow.com Ariel

    Really Rena? I’m Doing It I’m so happy. Welcome back, Dooce!

  • Beefy K

    My life is whole again. I am glad you are back.

  • Rickster

    Dooce,

    Mere Blogs can’t express how happy I am that “THE DOOCE IS BACK!!!!!”

  • http://sourmash.blogspot.com Sour Bob

    Maybe Chuckles speaks Esperanto. Have you tried “Utiligi la necesejo”?

  • http://www.turbanhead.com DJ SUBg

    I just put a pair of Depends and let the “chips” fall where they may.

    Glad to hear from you.

  • http://shyeyes.org shy

    dooce.com Resurrected!

    1. congrats on your wedding!

    2. your photographer did a kickass job.

    3. don’t feed chuck chicken. dog’s that eat chicken get bad gas and fart up a storm.

    4. welcome back.

    5. no. 3 is based on personal experiences… unfortunately.

  • http://pixelkitty.net pixelkitty

    ohhhh I was so happy to trundle over and see you writing again.

    my web is complete.

    thank you, thank you

  • http://www.halftone.org Neal

    Dooce is alive! Thank you so much for coming back to your weblog. Congratulations on the marriage, too.

  • Bill

    I need to go.