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How to Charm Me

Comfort me during the 4.2 earthquake that was so spooky I was sure it had killed the entire state of California.

How to Annoy Me

Act like you didn’t just pull out in front of me. I’ll act as if I didn’t just make that hand gesture in your direction.

Alabama Hamilton

My sister’s name is September, and today is her 32nd birthday. Yes, that’s right. My parents named my sister September even though she was born in January, and she has consequently suffered years of obvious questions. Of course, these are the same people who named their only son Ranger. I know you’re wondering, how the [...]

Original Sin

It’s not that I’ve never made an adult purchase before. I mean, I’ve never bought a house or a boat or even a set of pillow shams to match the curtains. But I have, in the short term of being the age that Britney describes as “not a girl, not yet a woman,” made significant [...]

Thinking

I am doll eyes, doll mouth, doll farts.

Enjoying

Raphael Just

Feeling Guilty

For saying, yes, I’ll get it done when I have no intention of getting it done.

How to Charm Me

Tell me you think I look pretty even though I know I look like a bloated, mushy cow.

How to Annoy Me

Offer a six-months same as cash option on a loan. You may as well just beat me up and steal my wallet.

January 28, 2002