• http://individual.utoronto.ca/brenbren/blog.html Brenda

    I’ve been tempted to post a few times in the last couple of days. PJ, I do think the comments on the last post veered into Mormon-bashing, mostly good-natured, but would you say “watch out for those Jews” if someone moved to a predominantly Jewish neighbourhood?

  • http://thepropagandist.com propagandist

    brigham young HATED mexican food.

  • Wayne

    Brigham didn’t hate all Mexican food, only Taco Bell tostados. Gave him gas…..toasty Mormon gas.

  • http://www.malville.com mal

    fuck. i should have warned you. i also forgot about that bit where NELEH (from survivor) now sells herself as a news anchor. avoid channel 2 in the mornings, for the love of god.

  • http://lapuente2.citysearch.com/1.html The Inmate

    One of the top rated Mexican restaurants in Salt Lake. And they’ve got $5.75 tostadas.

  • http://www.megchem.com megchem

    art: I KNOW they are on the web, but it isn’t the same :(

  • http://www.shiningsinners.com edsmonkey

    I thought I heard somewhere that tostadas were the tool of the mormom devil and were on the “too be avoided list” along with liquor and caffiene.

  • http://www.geocities.com/evan7_99/ Slack Jaw

    Not to carry on any Mormon bashing, but Jews have really good bagels and Matzo ball soup and Locks and have a culture that goes back thousands of persecuted years. I think itís fair to say that other than the Brits, there is no group of people as large, less know for their cuisine.

    (ok so maybe to carry on a little more bashingÖ)

  • http://www.hammerland.net Xanthan

    OK,Dooce…. I’m confused. You leave LA and the food you miss is a Taco Bell tostada? When you lived in LA, was no one kind enough to introduce you to Tommy’s Burgers or the delights of a real taco truck? I mean, you’ve got to know about the blintzes at Cantors, what about the incredible lamb sandwiches at Phillipe’s near Union Station? The pie at the Apple Pan?

  • http://www.nikky.org nikky

    … what’s a Mormon?


  • http://www.uberdesgn.com/ nick

    no, no. she’s got it right. taco bell is food to lust over. all those “L.A.” places are full of shit. canter’s deli sucks my ass. and the apple pan looks cool, but it’s pie is not all that great and you can’t get out of that place for anything less than a car payment. praise be taco bell – the working man’s paradise.

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com The Mighty Jimbo

    Never trust any food stuff that costs less than dog food. Taco Bell? Scary.

  • http://amindofamind.blogspot.com Naaman

    You all have obviously never had In-n-out, which, btw, is also not available in Utah (according to their web site). Now there’s a fast food chain worth staying in Cali for.

  • http://lawver.net Kevin

    To address the first problem (dry nose rock boogers; Mormons flourish and remain remarkably moist in dry weather). I lived in Provo and Tucson and had to resort to Saline Nasal Spray to keep my nasal cavity wet and youthful. It works like a charm, and you won’t wake up with stalagtite snot in the morning. Two squirts in each nostril before bed and one or two in the morning and you’ll be right as rain.

  • me

    Lets all get it out of our systems. Everyone yell as load as you can. Mormon, Mormon, Mormon,Mormon,Mormon,Mormon,
    Mormon. Man I feel better. you? Now lets move on. NEXT!

  • ex southern babtist

    I agree with me.

  • http://mrshoefly.livejournal.com Shoefly

    I had no idea a flat taco shell could be a device of the devil. No wonder I like ‘em so much!

  • chukee

    An interesting Taco Bell thing – have you heard of the “K-Minus” program? It is TB’s program for removing all of the kitchens from their stores. All food will be prepared with water, a microwave, and the occasional hot-oil bath.
    I don’t think that this bothers me so much as fascinates me.

  • http://www.shiftyeye.com dclay

    Look on the bright side, you’re that much closer to Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Wait…

  • http://sen.arinya.net Sen

    I know I’ll sound like an idiot for asking this, but what’s a toastada?

  • http://www.kaneblues.com/ kane

    I suddenly have the urge to hug my neighborhood Jehovah Witness.

  • http://www.xanga.com/jenhaaay jennay

    just a weird mormon-related fact from my life: in high school, my best friend and i were like THIS. both of our last names are armstrong, and though we both have “armstrong noses” we are unrelated. she is and always has been mormon and had no problem mixing with non-mormons (i’m a presby), but when she went off to school (utah state) she decided she was no longer going to maintain relationships with non-mormons. therefore, although i had no ill feelings toward the religion previously, i am now convinced that mormonism is an evil cult and it’s no fair that they’ve gotten to take over some of the prettiest scenery in america.

    but yeah, she was a mormon and her last name is armstrong… that’s where i was really going.

  • http://makesourbobfamous.blogspot.com Shane

    Sorry to put this right up on your comments Dooce but I can’t find an email for you.
    Please visit Make Sour Bob Famous and help our campaign to make our (other) favourite blogger a celebrity. Thanks!

  • http://www.tumbleweed.blogspot.com tumbleweed

    Look, I’ll check this out, but in the meantime, someone help me out here…

    When two guys come to the door, and without asking them in for tea, how do I differentiate between them being Mormon or Jehovah’s?

    Not that there’s anything wrong with either one…

  • http://thepropagandist.com propagandist


    a mormon is like a christian, but far better organized and with magic underwear.

  • http://punzie.blogspot.com Punz

    Wait, no caffeine? Eek. I mean, I’m strict kosher, but having to give up my Second Cup would be tough.
    And wow, I am sadly ignorant about most other religious beliefs.

  • Shabby

    Wow. And I thought my move from the city of Chicago to the suburbs of Chicago was bad. Be strong, Dooce.

  • http://www.snopes.com HurgleGurgle

    To read a disinterested take on the Mormon/Coke dynasty (or lack thereof) go to Snopes.com
    To tell marmons apart from JW’s: The Mormon (or LDS) missionaries are usually 19-22, and don’t bring small children in tow. They will not actually sell you pamphlets. They go out in bad weather.

  • http://individual.utoronto.ca/brenbren/blog.html Brenda

    Mormon missionaries also have nametags and call themselves “Elders” (or sisters if they’re women.) Even though they’re all young pups.

  • Bruce
  • http://www.realityremixed.com Keith

    Billy & Wayne: it was a joke, although some Mormons do eschew caffeine, so I was making light of that fact by suggesting Utah might be the one place Starbucks couldn’t penetrate. I can’t believe you guys actually took time to research it.

  • http:www.villapaita.com jimmypage

    d00ce: itís a beautiful thing going back home (family, friends, etc.). perhaps you could start a new book of mormon, or otherwise simply add a new-fangled take on revelatons.

    this is a new day and age we live in. as most of the diehard will not understandÖ they continue to grow older. the young ones need to realize that they have a choice. revoltion, freedom, expansion of the closed-mindedness that slowly, but surely, turns them into nothing more than human robots.

    NOT to mock them, d00ce, but rather to give the younger (not completely brainwashed) a new slant. in all honesty, heather, the best of luck to your and your husband.

  • Igor

    I know a lovely mormon girl who is very afraid of sinning. But she loves Dr. Pepper. Little white sin ?
    Vile food : KFC in Kent, Wa. I’d rather sleep with Freddy Krueger than eat there again.
    Other : fries made with unpeeled potatoes… how can you eat that ?
    Good : House of Blues in Marina Building, Chicago and Macy’s basement restaurant in New York.
    Bad Beer : Harpoon

  • http://smivey.blogspot.com smivey

    According to Taco Bell, A tostada is nothing more than a deep fried tortilla slathered with reconstituted beans, a splash of “hot sauce, shredded lettuce and something that’s supposed to be cheese. Now, if you ask me what a tortilla is, I’m seriously gonna hunt you down and dance on your face. People that have no clue about ethnic food, you suck.

  • http://www.golf-blogger.blogspot.com Billy

    Keith, baby — There was no research involved. I got the joke, man. I was simply pointing out that nobody knew where they were or sent me on a wild goose chase. Oh, yeah, that wild goose chase thing I mentioned — that’s just a figure of speech — I wasn’t looking for geese. As for Wayne’s comment, he’s totally out there — I don’t know the guy.


    FIRST OF ALL (and Dooce already knows this so this is to all you other ignorant guestbook signers) WE HAVE STARBUCKS, WE DRINK CAFFEINE, WE SAY HELL AND EVEN DAMN ON OCCASION (I even say shit while driving a whole lot), OUR UNDERWEAR AREN’T MAGIC (persay), WE ASSOCIATE WITH PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF THE MORMON RELIGION (most of my friends are catholic or ATHEIST) and YES, WE LIKE TOSTADAS, we also like a great other number of restaurants that you can’t find out west but hey, you live with what you got. YES, the dry air sucks, (which is why you will see a lot more people picking their noses in their cars on their way to work in the morning). But HELL people, don’t judge the whole church on a moron you knew in highschool… I know a TON of Catholic morons, even a few jewish and muslim ones but that sure doesn’t make me think that they are all part of some psycho cult. Dooce, you rock. Good to have you here.

  • http://www.realityremixed.com Keith

    Billy — they allow geese in Utah? :)

  • Totah DinÈ

    That’s a fine example of Utah Mormon defensive behavior. Utah Mormon’s are VERY sensitive and defensive when it comes to their religion. There’s a good reason for it, they get bashed a lot. As to the tostadas, there’s always Del Taco or Dos Hermanos.

  • HurgleGurgle

    “NOT to mock them, d00ce, but rather to give the younger (not completely brainwashed) a new slant. in all honesty, heather, the best of luck to your and your husband. -jp”

    Let us start a Church of Dooce!


    Utah Mormon defensive behaviour? I am from Canada! HAHAHAHA… and I thought I was being more funny then defensive. Oh well, you can’t win em all.

  • http://thepropagandist.com the propagandist


    i think you’re funny. and my magic underwear comment was more a play on the masonic slant of some of the mormon ceremonies…and yes, there are idiots everywhere, and in every religion.

    i’m just bitter ’cause as a non-mormon i couldn’t see my best friend’s REAL wedding…they wouldn’t let me in the inner sanctum…

  • kgjbnme

    people, people… can’t we all just get along? [signed, The She-Agnostic Who Comes From The Land Of The Southern Baptists]

  • H. Gurgle

    The actual weddng ceremony is pretty brief and unspectacular, for what it’s worth.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/hyker brandon

    All I really want to know is…is it true that mormon priests (pastors, parsons, etc.) sleep with the bride before the husband gets a shot?

  • Dave Thomas

    Or course, but not before popping over to the nearest temple to ceremonially eat a baby or two.


    HAHAHAHA. Brandon, you are fricking hilarious. What planet are you from again?

  • http://www.untopia.com garrett

    It’s been interesting for a few days, but I have to admit all the Mormon Mormon Mormon talk is becoming slightly monotonous.
    Anyway… Dooce, I can’t help you out with Taco Bell tostadas, but skip the fast food and have a tostada at the Rio Grande Cafe. Better food, better atmosphere, only slightly more expensive.

  • http://amethyst85.blogspot.com Karen

    Your site is a riot! I love it!

    Taco Bell has tostadas?! Damn! I live in Ogden Utah! Shit – see what I’m missing?! ;-) I could see them not serving marguritas, but tostadas?!!!

  • http://www.livejournal.com/users/hyker Brandon

    The planet for the criminally misinformed.

  • scot-on-the-rocks

    Good for your resolve to NOT bash the Mormon faith. I too discovered that it is not for everybody..and I’ve simply let go of the need to judge others for their decisions, “to be, or not to be…” In the end, we all find our respective paths, don’t we? And if it’s all about exhaultation anyway, some will some won’t…so what!
    its followers are certainly a people apart, but a cult as one suggested, get a grip! we all search out the mysteries as best we can..and each of us grows “line upon line …precept upon precept”…
    yeah, been there, done that and know how it works. i concluded, that even with free will in the mix, ALL is in Divine Right Order, and time is an illusion.

    i enjoy your writing enormously. ya know, you don’t seem to have been diminished in the least by your life as a missionary or the endowments that took you there..

    Party on Dooce!