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Brand USA

Feeling Guilty

For telling that telemarketer to bite my fucking uninterested ass.

How to Charm Me

Join me in doing the Leprechaun Dance. It’s a lot like the Neutron Dance.

How to Annoy Me

Jump on the bed with your big self right after I’ve taken the time to straighten the covers.

March 19, 2002


Launch Melrose


I’m officially addicted to salsa. Someone stop me.


One Man’s Eye

Feeling Guilty

For listening, very closely, to the neighbors fight.

How to Charm Me

Resist the urge to point out the fact that I can’t stop talking.