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Brand USA

For telling that telemarketer to bite my fucking uninterested ass.

Join me in doing the Leprechaun Dance. It’s a lot like the Neutron Dance.

Jump on the bed with your big self right after I’ve taken the time to straighten the covers.

Launch Melrose

I’m officially addicted to salsa. Someone stop me.

One Man’s Eye

For listening, very closely, to the neighbors fight.

Resist the urge to point out the fact that I can’t stop talking.