Don’t freak out when the heat from my sleeping body singes the hair off your chest and begins cooking your internal organs.
Guilt me into giving you a lick of the Taco Bell Chili Cheese Dip. Just stop it already with the sad puppy eyes.
When I get insurance, I’m going to make up illnesses and go to the doctor just because I can.
For secretly adding canned Taco Bell Chili Cheese Dip to that new diet I’m trying.
Flow My Tears, The 12-Ounce Can Said (I know I’ve linked to this site recently, but it’s just so damn funny)