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Cereal boxes lie, but Carmen keeps it real


One of a Kind

Feeling Guilty

For acting like I don’t know what happened to the bologna, when just an hour ago I ate the entire package of bologna.

How to Charm Me

Surprise me with an advance copy of the new Radiohead album. It’s like Christmas!

How to Annoy Me

Consider yourself a better person because you don’t watch “American Idol.” Well, America voted, and it’s official: you’re a total snob.


It’s a super-duper dog who will humor me by lying on his new Costco bed even though he’d much rather be outside humping the dog nextdoor.


Radiohead: Hail to the Thief

My Comrade in Carmen and Constipation

Recent email exchange between me and my best friend in Utah: HER: How are you? Are you feeling less stressed? I hope things are going smoothly for you guys. Let’s start with my comment which is as follows: The only reason Carmen is still on Idol is due to her overly enthusiastic “I need to [...]