1. The tick my mother burned out of my ear when I was five years old. 2. Why I woke up that one time at Mandalay Bay when I was staying at the Hard Rock. 3. Every New Year’s Day for the past seven years. 4. The words to my High School alma mater. 5. [...]
For painting my dog’s tail…on purpose.
Lost in Transit
Pretend that I didn’t just back up and stick my entire foot into that open can of paint.
Pull into the passing lane with no intention of BRINGING IT, YOU PUSSY.