I so wasn’t kidding when I said that I needed to know how to do this to be even marginally accepted as a resident of Utah.
The Januaries: “The Girl’s Insane”
Start speaking with a hint of a British accent just because we’re probably watching WAY too much BBC America.
For telling that dog owner that if he wasn’t going to do it, then I was going to strap his dog down and wrap a rubber band around its balls. Dogs should be fixed, yes, but I need to learn some restraint.
For a second there I thought I put the new cordless phone into the warshing machine with all the towels, and all I could think was, how am I going to convince my husband that it’s the dog’s fault the phone doesn’t work?
Lick your index finger and then use it to wipe something off my face. Ohmigod, Mom, we’re in public, for crying out loud!