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True love is someone who will voluntarily unclog your toilet.

29 Weeks, Photo Collection: Autumn in Utah

All of the following photos were taken by myself and my dark-haired, deliciously long-eyelashed husband whose sparkly eyes I really hope our baby inherits. If not his sparkly eyes, then at least his ability to make me laugh at 7:35am in the coffee aisle at the grocery store as he properly demonstrates how to operate [...]


Mom Finds Out About Blog (thanks Jason)


Wholesome Swimwear: Swimsuits that highlight the face, rather than the body!

How to Annoy Me

Cower and shed half your fur at the sight of the Sunday newspaper. Perhaps having your balls cut off wasn’t such a good idea.

Belly Button Watch 2K3

In a matter of days, if not hours, the little indentation in the middle of my belly is going to erupt in a volcanic burst of nubbly flesh, and all at once I will be sporting the dreaded pregnant belly button. I’m not dissing outie belly buttons when I say that I am completely horrified [...]

Feeling Guilty

For buying a vacuum sealed package of underwear at Costco.


An Orgasm of Shit


For the last seven days we have been babysitting/boarding/loving every single minute of Max, an Australian shepherd whose owners are on vacation in Cancun. Max normally lives next door to my mother, and when we lived in her basement last winter Max and Chuck were gay lovers. There is no other creature on this planet [...]