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Gisele au soleil


I have officially determined that sushi burps are even worse than having to smell my dog’s feet.

How to Charm Me

Give me one of those adorable baby kisses, with the half-open mouth and snot drizzling out of both nostrils.

Phone Fury

For about five months now I’ve noticed that Chuck exhibits a certain distaste for the telephone primarily by dropping whatever he’s chewing on, cowering and promptly leaving the room whenever the phone rings. At first I thought it was funny, like ha, ha, my dog is afraid of the phone, isn’t that cute? But I [...]

Feeling Guilty

For adding that extra stick of butter to the mashed potatoes. Well, to be totally honest, for adding two extra sticks of butter and an entire tub of cream. And that cup of whole milk.

How to Annoy Me

Tell me that you are all “disorientated.”

If They Only Knew . . .

What a badass motherfucker they were unleashing on an unsuspecting world. You gotta love unpacking old boxes full of pictures you thought you’d burned years ago, only to find gems like this one which, if I ever ran for office, could be used against me to prove what a poseur I really am. I wore [...]


Desaparecidos: Read Music Speak Spanish

Feeling Guilty

For even changing the channel to UPN, let alone watching a whole hour.


This morning I rediscovered the magic that is “The Price is Right,” and people, life is that much better.