My Karate Kid Shower
Make a baby monitor that is so good that I can hear the sound of my baby’s hair growing in the other room.
Empirical evidence shows that babies don’t particularly like to have their toes pulled. This doesn’t mean that I won’t keep trying.
Say that you and your fiancé are going to get a “prenumptial” agreement.
For blaming my farts on the baby. You knew this was bound to happen.