But the question you should be asking is, “Am I good enough to go to Heaven?”
Forget to tell me that you have turned the toaster to level BURN THE SHIT OUT OF IT, and then when I go to toast a pop tart I burn down the neighborhood.
Yesterday I found out that a young and impressionable cousin of mine is reading this website (Hi, George!). I found out because he sent me an email that began, “Dearest cousin Heather, I must say I thoroughly enjoy your website,” and ended with three attached photos of his new cat, Ass Face. While I consider [...]