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RE: ARMSTRONGS ARE DUMBASSES

Today was a really bad day. I don’t know how many more bad days I can have or that I can put my husband through. I don’t know how many hurtful, judgmental emails I can receive before I decide that this is enough. I get many, many wonderful emails, and thank you for those. I [...]

Shameless Internet Groupies Unite!

My sister dropped off a bag of Rice Krispie Treats yesterday and life now seems somehow doable. I crashed yesterday morning from the trip and the food poisoning and the day of running errands to get our lives back in order. When I woke up my eyes felt as if they had been taped shut, [...]

Reading

In New York, everybody was just as weird as me, and it didn’t stop them from inventing and being creative and changing the world.

Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Today is my 29th birthday. A couple hours ago I returned from the emergency room where I was pumped full of IV fluid and an anti-nausea medication to combat what we think was the world’s worst case of food poisoning. Jon has it too, not quite as bad as my case, but since someone had [...]

California, Here We Come

We just dropped off the dog at Grandma’s house for the Lay’s Potato Chip Extravaganza X-Treme Summer 2004 where he is sure to spend the next four days lounging in the hottest spot he can find in her backyard while being hand fed entire slices of white bread and, of course, Lay’s Potato Chips, official [...]

Reading

Thank you, Barren Bitches Brigade. You can call me Doo-chay anytime.

Have You Done Shane?

Yesterday I took Leta on her first extended car trip to look at some property my mother recently bought in Duchesne, Utah. For those of you who like myself tend to pronounce words the way they are spelled, you would be wrong in assuming that Duchesne is pronounced Doo-chez-nee. The correct pronunciation is Doo-Shane, and [...]

Thinking

Have I mentioned how cute my husband is in his glasses? No? He is REALLY FUCKING CUTE IN HIS GLASSES. OH. MY. GOD.

It’s Going to be Okay

A few days ago my mother and I were sitting at a restaurant having lunch when we both noticed that Leta was trying to put the table in her mouth. The whole table. We could see the concentration in her face, her thoughts swarming around how she could pull the whole table closer and fit [...]

The post in which I actually use the phrase “hot forks of displeasure” and I am apologizing for it right now

Never underestimate the importance of a mutual love and need for wiper fluid within a marriage. How many families are being torn apart because one spouse doesn’t understand the value of a clean windshield while the other spouse cannot breathe air knowing that the windshield is dirty? When I was single I broke up with [...]