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How to Charm Me

Point out that since I worked out in my pajamas, I didn’t actually remain in my pajamas all day. I remained in my work out clothes all day.

Email: But can you wire a dishwasher?

From: Andy Subject: Jeopardy genius? Chechnya and Chet Baker? No doubt your husband is an intellectual bruiser, but these are hardly Mensa-level topics. I knew them and I’m STATE COLLEGE educated. AK —— Dooce Note: Let us all bow before Andy, Oh STATE COLLEGE Educated Popper of My Little Bubble. I am PRIVATE COLLEGE educated [...]

How to Annoy Me

Get the questions right on “Jeopardy!” EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE DRUNK. I know “Who is Chet Baker?” was the obvious question, BUT YOU WERE DRUNK! Nothing should have been obvious. However, you did put your shoes away this morning without being asked to do so. All is forgiven.

The Other One