When I say Jesus, you say Jesus, say Jesus. JESUS!

I just had an acid flashback to Vacation Bible School. Forgive me, Jesus.

  • http://humanwrites.blogspot.com Daniel

    More importantly, who would Johnny Damon bomb?

  • Mark

    What is really annoying is that is a VW Toaureg and I want one. But the gas mileage is icky. 12 city 14 hwy! And it costs oh 35k+ depending. People like that should drive Yugo’s.

  • http://journals.aol.com/fkaren1964/ScatteredThoughts/ Fran

    Jesus is da bomb!

  • http://www.roboranch.com Stephen McKenna

    Jesus would make a great president…Of France!!!!

  • http://coolbeansmama.blogspot.com coolbeans

    In case Jesus is reading:

    Hey, Jesus! If you’re going to bomb someone, could you bomb the people making that reality show “Laguna Beach” on MTV? Because they are bad people. They are terrorizing me.

    Oh, and please don’t bomb me for watching. Thanks, Jesus.

  • G. McFuzz

    The “of France” lady should check this link out.

    http://www.thenation.com/doc.mhtml%3Fi=20041108&s=facts

  • http://whereitends.typepad.com Liz

    I don’t have any inside information here, I mean Jesus and I are just friends. We keep business *totally* seperate from our personal relationship. But if I were to guess? And this is totally a guess? Paraguay.

  • Brooke

    I think the point of the sticker is that Jesus wouldn’t bomb anyone. My knee jerk reaction is always to the left, but this looks like a pacifist kind of thing to me. I’m an atheist but c’mon people, not all christians favor Bush and bombs.

  • http://www.secretexploits.com Murphy

    I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to use “acid-flashback” and “bible” in the same sentence.

    you’re probably going to spend eternity in the fires of hell. and i’m talking about the underworld, not that burning sensation when you pee.

    :) just kidding.

    we can joke around here right?
    or did i just seal the last nail in my pine box and now everyone’s going to write to me about how i made baby jesus cry and i’m a sinner… cha cha cha.

  • mari

    I second Brooke’s point. The irony seems to have been lost on a lot of the posters. Maybe it’s still too early in the morning?

  • LadyBug

    Heather,

    Nothing to do with the picture, but…

    I’m sitting here eating my Pop-Tart (Did you know a strawberry Pop-Tart without frosting is actually HEATLH FOOD? It’s true!) and thinking about that ho, I mean that WOMAN who sent you the hate mail. I don’t get it. What is UP with those idiots? I mean, she visits YOUR website and looks at YOUR photos and reads YOUR posts, and then feels free to get all up in YOUR ass?? What the hell?
    You know, there are times when I don’t agree with some of your opinions (or those of other websites I visit), but I am mindful that it is YOUR website, not mine, and will therefore abound with your opinions, thoughts, and experiences, most of which are gloriously funny, laugh-out-loud, giggle-inducing hilarity! It’s relatively easy to enjoy the humor and skip over the political stuff (most of which is in the comments, anyway).
    And, here’s a revolutionary idea for those who get all riled up about stuff they read here…..are you ready? ‘Cause this is so new and ‘out there,’ I’m not sure if some of the more sensitive visitors can handle it…..
    If you don’t like what you’re reading, and you find yourself tempted to send hate mail or make hateful, narrow-minded comments about someone’s political views or their HAIR, for crying out loud….CLICK YOUR ASS ON OUTTA HERE. That’s right. See that little ‘X’ in the upper-right-hand corner of your screen? Do yourself and everyone else a favor and click it. Now.

    Yes, I’m rambling. I don’t even comment very often, and this is by far the longest comment I’ve ever left, but for some reason that ‘of FRANCE!!!!’ woman really got my blood boiling this morning. I started fuming and cursing and just had to vent a little.

    I feel better now. Everyone else feel better? Deep breath now.

    God bless,
    LadyBug

  • Heather 2

    Hey coolbeans –
    I was caught watching “Laguna Beach” by my boyfriend, and he was not too impressed. But I. Can’t. Stop.
    I was really bummed when Morgan (I think that’s her name…and yes I’m embarassed about knowing it) got her reject letter from BYU.

  • http://www.electricboogaloo.net tiffany

    Hahahaaa Liz – hilarious.

    My dad once honked at someone who had a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. It was one of those “hey buddy the light’s green are you gonna go?” honks. The guy gave my dad the finger! We weren’t sure if that meant that the guy was an atheist who wanted Christians to honk so he could give them all the finger, or if he was just an asshole who forgot he had a bumper sticker urging fellow Jesus lovers to honk at him.

    Then again, my dad doesn’t really love Jesus… maybe Christians can sense that somehow.

  • http://www.tonguetyed.blogspot.com Ty

    Totally not about the picture…

    Tracy, I love the way you phrased your vote…”blue voter in a red state” That’s perfect.

    I am also a blue voter in possibly the reddest state of them all this election–Texas. I need to move back to Austin where Bush lost the last election 60% to 40%…go my little Austin liberals!!

  • Another Bleeding Heart for Justice and Equality

    I love that bumper sticker.

    With all the “turn the other cheek” and “love thy neighbor as thyself” in the New Testament, I think it’s pretty clear that we DO know who Jesus would bomb. Nobody!

    That’s the whole point of Jesus, as far as I’m concerned: Love Everybody, Goddamnit!

    I hate how the religious fuckwads that are running this country like to forget that.

    And before you get all huffy and offended, I call them Religious Fuckwads because as a Religious Bleeding Heart, I feel entitled.

  • http://www.evilsciencechick.blogspot.com Regan

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh…that’s definately brightened up my day. Seriously, I don’t know who the crazier religious group is: utah mormons, or southern fundamentalist crackpots. you should see the weirdo bumper stickers I see around here!

  • http://angoras.blogspot.com/ TracyDee

    I think France is totally cool… they have that “je ne sais quoi” Meaning.. that they don’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks of them… they’re French :)

  • http://www.sarcenet.org shana

    Ok, most likely the best jesus comic ever: (do not read if you are easily offended by funny jesus stuff)
    http://www.combustibleorange.com/index.php?current=11

    Of FRANCE, no less!

    Dude, Heather, I think your hair is totally awesome no matter what color it is (and I rather liked the blond…perhaps she is just bitter she can’t color her hair because she is a FREAK of NATURE!)

  • erin

    Huh? The Toe-rag doesn’t even come as a TDI.

    I love the way “France” and “liberal” have become the insults du jour. That’s what they get for providing the world with haute cuisine and the U.S. with social security! Damn Frenchies and liberals!

    What’s next? Cats? Are they the new evil?

  • http://filemagazine.com Beerzie Yoink

    Let me here you say yea.

  • Mal

    I love that most of the posters don’t seem to get the bumper sticker. It’s obviously anti-war.

  • erin

    okay, so the toe-rag comes as a TDI. my bad. unfortunately, i cannot delete my stupidity, so have at it, internet.

  • http://www.lindseyandray.com/blog.html Lindsey

    What?!

  • rlk

    I’m a red voter in the dark blue state of massachusettes. yucky. I can’t even ride my bike down the road (my backpack has a Bush/Cheney sticker on it) without getting screamed/honked at. I’ve stopped wearing it, but I’m still voting for Bush. I really like your site, sorry about that crazy mean email. Not all of us are mean and vicious. I feel your pain, but from the opposite spectrum. Also, Jesus rocks but that sticker is absurd.

  • http://www.vaguelyspecific.com faith

    Jesus would bomb Bush.

    well he probably wouldn’t but if he had to bomb someone……….

  • Amber

    Ummm … parts of Revelations lead me to believe that the answer to that is not, in fact, “no one” but something more along the lines of “the entire world”.

    God did promise not to flood the earth again, but let’s remember that, yes, he has destroyed the earth before because we were bad.

  • Frank

    Another bumper sticker i’ve seen that i like:

    Dear Lord, protect us from your followers. Amen.

  • Christi

    I have a TDI too, TDIs are cool!

  • http://alliteration.org Liz

    Yup, I pretty much agree with Amber. Really.

  • http://www.lexablog.blogspot.com Lexa

    Jesus would defintely not bomb anyone, but GOD – now that dude will smite your ass!
    *ahem, just kidding God…

  • Emily

    What is the deal with “Laguna Beach” anyway? Is it a reality show or not?? It seems so scripted. And why is it SO ADDICTING????

  • http://polyester-bride.com Whitters

    Great sticker.

    Not all abortion clinic protesters, in fact most of them, do not bomb clinics, shoot doctors, or act in any violent way. The stand or pray peacefully and some try to give the men and women going in ALL the information they need to make an informed decision, like what the abortion procedure really is, and what effect it may have on them, which abortion clinics often do not provide
    Seriously? No, whatever. Because when I went to have my abortion, the protestors held up plastic dolls coated with ketchup and signs with fake fetuses on them, and they yelled out stuff about how we should turn back because we would go to hell if we went through with the procedure. Yes, that’s very helpful. NOT.

    And my clinic did provide three horus of pre-abortion counseling, as many clinics do, so that I fully understood what was going to happen.

    Don’t presume to know about such things when it’s obvious you have very little understanding of it.

  • http://blogs.salon.com/0002504 Anita

    I’m with Brooke too.

    As an owner of a TDI, I *knew* it had to be a leftist liberal making a point that Jesus WOULDN”T bomb anyone.

    A bumper sticker at work that bugs me to no end:

    WARNING: In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned.

    I always think:
    1) Jesus just *loves* braggarts, you self-righteous fool.

    and

    2) I’m pretty sure a woman drives this minivan, so it’s unMANned already.

    Loving to bitch about blind religiosity.

  • Christi

    Um Erin, the Touareg DOES come in a TDI

  • Emily

    And yes… I am guilty of using excessive punctuation. ;(

  • http://polyester-bride.com Whitters

    Oh, by the way, my italics didn’t work. I was quoting Monika in my comment, before responding to her.

  • AA

    I simply have to hope this was someone being funny…

    One of my favorite Jesus stickers (wow that sounds wrong): What Would Jesus Do? Well, first off, he’d be Jewish.

  • amalita

    i was thinking of a t-shirt that says
    “vote for bush; surrender your bush”
    i’m going to make one i think.

  • http://agearp.blogspot.com Dee

    OMG Chris from Ohio what have you started?

    Monika, I do agree with the babies for adoption (been trying to adopt for 5 years) …. but as you know, it is every woman’s give right and a free country wether we agree or not, and the right to bomb the practice is a little too much for me to agree with.

    Just becasue people are selfish stupid beings does not give anyone the right to kill them.

    Same as war — I trully believe no one gave the right to kill the next person, there’s got to be better ways.

    Personally, I don’t give a rats ass who wins for President. The President to me is just a figure, the people with the money (we all know who they are) will end up making all the decision no matter who wins the election. Its all about balance, they can help 1% and hurt 1% of the population no matter who gets elected since its all a matter individual principles. One President will never be the right one for 100% of the people.

    Praise the USA – the country where people are in bed by 9pm and can’t allow their kids to play with other children withouth fearing for their life. The country where you have to pay $4 for a decent cup of coffee. The country where we don’t know or fucking neighbors. As many positives as the USA has the negatives impact our lifes daily. Go President! whoever the fuck you end up being.

  • http://kimba-bremen.diaryland.com kim

    who cares?? but i don’t care what he would do anyway, so.. but the sticker is awesome. especially since it’s driving around in utah (i suppose?)

  • http://www.objectevolution.com/bluecalx/ bluecalx

    judas.

  • BB

    Just wanted those blue voters in red states (including you!)to check out votepair.org – make your vote count!

  • (Yet another) Tracy

    Someone gave my husband a shirt that says, “Jesus WAS my co-pilot – but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.” Just another take on the Eucharist, really…

    Excellent bumper sticker.

  • http://www.lompyville.blogspot.com marsha

    How did abortion get into this? And btw I’ve had an abortion adn have NEVER regretted it. That’s a real thing that happens too. And I have yet to meet an abortion doctor who does the job out of some evil need to kill my baby for money. That’s just cracker talk.

  • http://www.digitalcatharsis.com The Mighty Jimbo

    fran so stole my comment.

    i gotta get up pretty early to be the smart ass around here now.

  • Colleen

    Jesus – democrat, repulican, green party, libertarian, or independent? could He override the electoral college?
    and as far as that “of France” woman…. what’s up with mocking people’s hair? what’s next… mocking chemo victims with their lack of hair?
    (Donald Trump obviously is an exception, of course)

  • http://qcumberland.com Jason

    Maybe they’ll start selling these in all the red states soon. I can just see all the bubbas in Texas driving around with these bad boys! Right below the gun rack and the “ain’t skeered” sticker.

  • http://nowhere.com moose

    God might bomb, but Jesus wouldn’t. It’s a New Testament/Old Testament thing.

    I’m another blue voter in another red state but I gotta say “votepairing” gives me the ethical creeps.

    I read yesterday that the French reconvene the procedure on average 137 times annually… the world average is 103… the Japanese average is 49 (and 40% don’t feel satisfied)… they didn’t say what the American average is, but I say:

    Oh, France!!!!

  • Amanda B.

    I’m not a Christian, but I dig on Jesus. He was so cool. Leave it to us humans to take his perfectly nice and sweet message and turn it into a clusterfuck.

    This is the funniest “poke fun at religiosity” site EVAH!!

    http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

    Hope it brings you JOY!

  • http://buymediamonds.blogspot.com/ Em

    I am cracking up. JESUS!