I promise I’m smiling behind the camera, maybe



  • Felice

    Aaron, no offense but you’re in the wrong house. If you think people like being straight up hit on by a married guy on dooce, you might want to check your perceptions. There are lots of places online to do your thing. Besides, it’s not interesting. This is just for your own good, because you seem oddly unaware.

  • Carol

    I just made this awesome buffalo chicken dip and am settling down to read me some dooce, but all i can think about is an old poop in a toilet and now i think i might throw up a little. Bleh!

  • Sherly (aka Sheryl)

    9. He was trying to prevent Chuck from drinking outta the crapper.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    8. he wanted to fill the house with yule tide … joy.

  • Sherly (aka Sheryl)

    7. It was Chuck, not George.

    Hi FishMan! And Everett :)

  • Colleen

    8. Of France!

  • Colleen

    Okay, make that 6.

  • Molly

    6. It was Jon, not George.. ;)

    *fish, you should be typing up your baby’s birth story!!! ……..

  • http://karenrani.blogspot.com/ Karen Rani

    5. Someone had to mold that scene from yesterdays pic…..and there wasn’t enough playdoh for the horse who had it’s ass in the air!

  • Carol

    y’all are cracking me up….. i’m thinking….

    hi sherly, fish, karen rani, etc….

  • Sherly (aka Sheryl)

    4. It was Dooce not George.

  • Carol

    4. he was trying to inspire dooce. that or just make her jealous.

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com Kristine

    Carol your number 4 is what I was going to write.

    Great minds….

  • Sherly (aka Sheryl)

    She didn’t wanna admit that something that ginormous and delicately-textured could come out of her.

  • Carol

    i keep reading Dr. Fever’s comment… clip a big steaming yam… and laughing. that is the funniest thing!

    but mayb
    3. it was just a little piece of poo-poo… an oh so dainty one and it just didn’t make in down.

    at least that’s the way I prefer to think about it.

  • GirlA.

    3. George accidentally swallowed the ceramic baby jesus and he was softening up the output so he could strain for the king of kings.

  • Carol

    OH MY God, GirlA!!

  • Carol

    2. Maybe George! (acting like my husband) was on the toilet for so fucking long that he forgot why he was there in the first place and just got up an left when he had finished reading the new “People”

  • GirlA.

    Yeah – *why* do you think George was lying there in pain with his hand over his face on the couch. It wasn’t Tryptophan, it was Tryp-to-hell.

  • http://karenrani.blogspot.com/ Karen Rani

    I hope he put a roll of toilet paper in the freezer the next before, to prepare for the ring of fire…..

  • http://karenrani.blogspot.com/ Karen Rani

    the night before*

  • Carol

    one of my hubby’s friends call a bottom a “leather cheerio”

    just had to share.

  • Carol

    good night all. see you tomorrow.

    i’ll be dreaming of scolotic cows, little fishes, and big steaming bowls of yams…. : )

  • http://humanwrites.blogspot.com Dr. Johnny Fever

    1. When Heather told George to “drop the kids off at the pool,” he completely misunderstood her meaning.

  • RazDreams

    1. He wanted to lay a deuce in Dooce’s pot in order to show her *just how much* cornbread stuffing he had that caused him to pass out and have his picture taken whilst passed out from dinner.

  • Sherly (aka Sheryl)

    0. Hor-hay believes in the environment, recycling, composting and Humanure. Armstrongs didn’t have a chute for it in their recycling bin, and he couldn’t bring himself to watch it go to *waste*.

    dananana dananana *SCATMAN*

  • Sherly (aka Sheryl)

    OOOOOOO preeeeeetty dooooocey red

  • http://www.biggaysam.blogspot.com Big Gay Sam

    Straight people. If I live a thousand years I will never understand you. :o p

  • Carol

    what is happening right before my very eyes?? behold, the power of dooce.

    ok, NOW i’m going to bed.

  • http://aaronthomasnelson.blogspot.com Aaron

    Felice,

    Last time I checked, *I* was the one being “straight up hit on.” Secondly, it was all in jest. Thirdly, don’t be a playah hatah.

  • http://misskimberley.blogspot.com Kimberley H.

    GEORGE! was merely being festive. It was a YULE LOG, for christs sake.

  • http://www.gigglinguniverse.blogspot.com Em

    Love the new look!!!!!

  • Sara

    Don’t forget cupboard locks to go with those outlet covers, because mobility comes OVERNIGHT. No lie. One day they’re wiggling and rolling, the next they’re pulling up and pulling shit out of the kitchen cupboards. It’s insane!

  • Danielle

    I have two comments that belong…. oh…either on yesterday’s pic or about 100 before now…

    for earlier today, channel names:

    *doo-chay*

  • Danielle

    For yesterday’s comments:

    This little piggy went to market
    This little piggy stayed home
    This little piggy ate roast beef
    but This little piggy had none

    And this little piggy said
    *fuck, fuck, fuck*
    all the way home.

  • Danielle

    Bring on the festive cheer!!

    woohooo

    clench-cheeked spring!

    Bwah HA HA

    all those people on the other side of the world will be so happy that you made a change during their day. :)

  • Danielle

    Doh! make that sprint (erg)

  • Sheryl

    Think “Buns o steel… Buns o steel… Buns o steel…”

    Oh God no, it’s Cannonball Run!

  • http://aaronthomasnelson.blogspot.com Aaron

    Sheryl, could you please confirm that, in fact, I’m a virtuous man subjected to your nefarious ways?

  • Sheryl

    Huh?

  • Sheryl

    Huh?

  • http://aaronthomasnelson.blogspot.com Aaron

    You know… last night..

  • Mike

    Jeopardy tune plays…

  • http://www.monkeygumbo.com/tess/news Tracy

    11) George heard the the voice of God speaking through the poo, and could not bring himself to flush an oracle.

  • http://www.monkeygumbo.com/tess/news Tracy

    11) George heard the the voice of God speaking through the poo, and could not bring himself to flush an oracle.

  • http://www.monkeygumbo.com/tess/news Tracy

    Sorry for the double post. My cable modem is twitchy tonight.

  • Ronnie

    :)
    I love dooce ever so much. Why are we all so darn attached to this woman in Utah, people?

  • http://www.infinitepink.com Christine

    http://www.poopreport.com/

    Good lawd! This is the Motherlode of all poopage sites.

    All I was doing was Googling for pooping euphemisms, I swear. Don’t tell my mom I look at this kind of stuff. ;)

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Oooooh, a new masthead! Sprung up before my very eyes! Neat-o! And very, ummm, festive?

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Two questions, Dooce:

    Is that a shit-brown border, to go along with the potty motif?

    And, are those supposed to be cranberries, floating above the masthead, or, ummmm, George-berries? Ya know, ’cause of your ‘Thinking’ post?
    I’m just askin’, is all…