Scrumptious Bearded Armstrong

  • JP

    Katy…amen, my friend. Here’s a BIG bottle of tequila to religious/family guilt.

    Hmmm…tequila. Another thing my mother doesn’t know about. fuck.

  • Sheryl

    *Mission of Burma*

    See y’all latah.

  • Carol

    Sheryl –

    OH my Good God, not…. EVAN?!?

  • Carol

    Oh, missed that one. : )

  • Gia on Guam

    I fully apologize for my deplorable behaviour.

  • lyn

    don’t men just take on a whole new dimension of yumminess when they grow beards?

    i’m pretty sure our child would never have been concieved had i not been able to talk my boyfriend into growing his.

  • Gia

    Just a friendly heads up from your last post: My daughter’s first word was “shit” – but she used it in context, so I figure that was okay.


  • Amanda B.

    Oooh…yeah…i’m picturing a not so Kodakesque moment when Leta utters those words to Grandmommy. Ouch.

  • Amanda B.

    P.S. Fish- You gotta know when to hold ‘em.

    And know when to fold ‘em.

  • Shiz

    I’m Calling Child Welfare!

    And recommending you for SAINTHOOD!

  • lulu cornichon

    You’re in good company, Dooce.

    One of my favorite posts from the archives of

    Me: “Sweetie, I know you hear those words at home, but you can not say them at school. You’ll get in big trouble. Oh my god, your teachers will have a fit.”

    Jackson, pointing: “What the hell is that?”

    Me: “Heck, what the heck is that. It’s a jacaranda tree. They all turn purple this time of year.”

    Jackson: “It’s fucking bullshit.”

    Me (opening Jackson’s door): “Okay, once we get out of this car, no more words like that. Got it?”

    Jackson, standing on the back seat, aiming right at his school: “BULLSHIT!”

    Tiny voice coming from behind the gate: “Jackson’s here!”

  • Gia on Guam

    Lulu, I busted out laughing at your story.

  • Mrs.Stray

    Jj was “helping” us paint his room in Spiderman red and blue when he spilled a bit of paint…to which he unttered “oh shit” in exactly the way it was meant to be uttered. It was the funniest thing every.
    But, I am guessing we shouldn’t have laughed at him as now he will cuss any time he wants us to bust out in laughter. Its *so* hard to hold it in when such a tiny little voice is calling his baby sister a “little shit”.

  • Mrs.Stray

    lmao…yeah I can type REALLy good. duuuurrrrrrr

  • Joe

    The Bearded Armstrong is a fearsome devil, he is. If you don’t keep your distance he could snap at you or WORSE. Crickey, I think we better have a closer look.

  • dänika

    is it just me, or does Jon’s hair look like an underwater sea creature waving gently in the current?

  • Mrs.Stray

    all poop
    all the time

  • Krystal

    your house looks so cozy.

    gotta love that hair. its a wonder of nature really.

  • Danielle

    So, the tequila cookie recipe is a knock-off of a rum cake joke I was sent last year (or the year before).
    Not that it isn’t still hillarious to read again.

    But I had to laugh when I got to the end and saw that it still referred to the cake tin (even though it was supposed to be for cookies).

  • Danielle

    hmmmm…. I didn’t word that quite right. I didn’t mean for it to sound like someone did a knock off of _my_ rum cake joke.

    Just that it was originally for rum cake.

  • Allie

    I’m first!! Yippee!!

  • Susie

    Wow, I received and passed along the tequila cookie recipe this morning. Quite surprised to see a comment on it late tonight. Your observation is enlightening, Danielle. Not knowing that it was adapted from a cake recipe, I assumed that the cake tin reference was because the baker was too intoxicated by that point to accurately label her bakeware. Your explanation certainly fits as well. A couple of people have asked here today where it came from, and as I’ve said earlier, no credit was given in the version that was sent to me. Do you know, Danielle, who wrote the recipe?

  • Martha

    I’mma need all these heffas to back up offa your husband. Gotdamn. Heather B. Armstrong you better watch your back, or one of these looney stalkerish fans of yours is gonna try and sneak your hubby. Sheesh.

    Oh yeah, I dig the tree in the background.

  • the niffer

    I came. I laughed. I went to bed.

  • Fish

    For Sheryl: I got no lips I got no tongue, whatever I say is only spit. I gotta broken face!

  • annie

    you are not old at all! i just turned 18, and i remember having a corded phone in my house a few years ago. of course, it was one of like, 4 phones, but it still counts.

  • Jenie

    LOL–I tried so hard to be first!! Oh well…there’s always tomorrow!

  • annie

    and jon is so hot

  • Katie

    Woman, what are you trying to DO to me? Jon’s hot anyway, but all rugged-facial-hair-goodness… damn. Like John Corbett, but different. Better. Utah-un.

  • Mrs.Stray

    Shouldnt is be back up offa *yo* husband? If we are going to translate “off of” we must translate “your” as well. IMHO

  • Angie

    Father, Christmas!

  • mrs. george #2

    Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Bob regains his composure and confesses …

    “Larry, that old hairbrush of yours … Well, you never use it, you don’t really need it. So, well, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. But I gave it to the Peach – ’cause he’s got hair!”

    Feeling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and laments …

    “Not fair! Oh, my hairbrush. Not fair! My poor hairbrush. Not fair, not fair, no hair, not fair, no where, no hair, not fair, not fair, not fair! My little hairbrush!”

  • Desi


  • mrs. george #2

    Am I first?

    No? Then I’ll have to settle for annoying.

  • Sarah

    Is that your tree in the background? The one with the lights hung with care?

    *LOVE* the ‘just got out of bed’ look for his hair, dahlink!


    OH MAN AM I FIRST? no not even close, because I wake up at 1pm. Deal with it ladies, it comes with being GEORGE!

  • kEma

    Dooce, AND NOT only >BEARD< but also
    Christmas tree ……..

    You keep banging our ovaries ……and hearts
    bang bang

  • Caroline

    GEORGE! Me too!

  • daveheinzel

    Unreal – I can’t believe how quickly people comment on the new updates.

    But really, when the first few comments for each item are all like “Am I first?,” it makes it hard to want to keep reading.

    By the way, I’m totally first.

  • Caroline

    Oh, and I forgot.

    How YOU doin?

    I call dibs on George.

  • http://www. susan

    I love how you love your hubby. Great shot!

  • mrs. george #2

    You are SOOOO too late for that, Caroline. The best you can hope for is sloppy thirds. GEORGE! is my baby daddy.

  • Kevin


  • Caroline

    Hey, look back through the comments, Mrs. George #2, I claimed him WAAAAAY before Mrs. George #1. So you’ve settled for third. Yea.

  • kEma

    No way!!!!!!!
    I Adore beards ….. damn

  • Sheryl

    Fish, LMAO
    That probably sounds to the many people like another one of your claims that you live in a Redneck Wasteland where the mullets are the highest per capita.

    My favorite part of the Pixies concert: When they repeatedly started to play, but didn’t play, “Here Comes Your Man”. One of t he only songs of theirs I don’t appreciate. They did play it for the encore, a one-song encore.

    Also loved the way they broke into a bluesy rendition of a song that is usually fast and hard. Now I’ll have to clear a bit of the tequila haze to remember which one that was.

    Gotta run, am training some counselors to use some technology.

  • Jenie

    First!! Maybe??

  • Caroline

    Ugh, I’m so sick of U2. Their new music video’s played three times this hour on MTV and twice on VH1. And that’s just from flicking through the channels. Just thought everyone should know that.


  • Allyson

    A man with a beard is just more of a man. Man.

  • Danielle

    Susie, yeah, yesterday was one of those days (like today) where I can be at my computer early, and then can’t be at it again until after the work day is over. So, I go home and read the comments there. (which actually made me cranky last night, because I’d missed all of the fun *sigh*)

    My mom originally showed me the joke; I can’t find my copy. So, I asked her to see if she can find it and tell me if it says anything about authorship.

    but I won’t know (if anything) until late tonight.

    she works at a company that distributes alcohol (including rum), so it is possible someone there wrote it. we shall see. :-)

    F R I D A Y !!!