In line to see Santa Claus

Jon took this photo and surprisingly no one was harmed or maimed during this excursion.

  • Angie M

    I’m in England and I have to say, I haven’t seen one father christmas/santa claus this year at all, and frankly i’m worried – either he’s had some sort of mishap or it’s political correctness gone mad – either way we’re screwed!

  • Kano

    Queenie…..I don’t think anyone here has had virtual sex with anyone else….I could be wrong though!

  • Carol

    This IS indeed a cult. Yes.

    “screaming quadruplet mouth-breathers”…THAT cracked me up!!

  • Carol

    We have all drunk the kool-aid. Even Kano.

  • Fish

    I didn’t drink any kool …

    oh, I get it.

  • Girl.A

    I like kool-aid.

  • Gia on Guam

    kristine: as one of 5 girls growing up (there are 6 of us now) we got the cereal toys in turn. You can go by age, drawing straws, whatever…that can go the same with picking out cereal. And only buy one box at a time…I’m assuming your kids are of the age to understand taking turns. I hope that helps.

  • Fish

    I grew up with 6 brothers and sisters.

    I never got the fucking toy.

  • Gia on Guam

    Fish: As a group of girls…beating on each other didn’t occur until highschool…and by that time, we didn’t give a shit about the lame ass toy.

  • Carol

    What about who helps mommy the most that day (or if is cereal…. who has to help mommy the most or who helped the most the day before)?

    Or who behaves the best that day?

    Is that good or completely fucked up? I don’t know how to deal with that many kids.

  • lame ass Fish

    Gia, the dinosaur that grew to enormous proportions by adding water is, and never was, lame ass.

    What time is it on Guam, anyway?

  • Fish with the Conch Shell

    Carol, I think that just might have started the ball rolling towards Lord of the Flies in my house.

  • Carol

    I know. I only have two kids. So it’s pretty easy to figure out which one gets the toy.

    I always get two toys.

  • Sheryl

    Who was Lord of the Fly-Tiers?

    Hi Carol Bo Barol

  • Carol

    OK, Sherly… at about 3 am today when I was half awake and not quite asleep, I was singing the goddam name song!! How ya dooooin? Headed up to Little Rhody tomorrow at 5 AM!! Gotta go to bed soon, but …. not yet.

    : )

  • Sheryl

    I’m also getting ready to not be working. Got some underhanded enjoyment out of offering the people who annoyed me peppermints all day long.

    Happened to have some in my bag. And your peppermint fuck-off comment was the inspiration for giving them out so freely. In fact, I am all out – will have to get some more tomorrow.

  • Gia on Guam

    Fish, at this posting it is 12:34 pm, Turdsday, December 23, 2004.

    That’s right. I get Christmas and New Years before YOU!

  • coskel

    I’m still confused about what a MILF is…

  • Carol

    MILF = Mothers I’d Like to Fuck

    Sorry. You asked.

    OK, Dooceland. Unless you got something great in the next five minutes, I’m off to bed. Gotta fly north to be with the in-laws.


  • Sheryl

    Have fun and a safe trip… dress in some warm but fetching milf clothes -
    it’s much colder up here you know…

  • Carol

    Half my kids’ suitcases is mittens, hats, boots, etc.

    I’ll email you, sheryl, with my nubah!

  • Carol

    That would be nuMbah!

    I ALWAYS dress in fetching MILF clothing.

    Sad, but true. Just you wait.

  • Sheryl

    Just figured you had a New England cold (nubah)

    We’ll me a coupla milfs together – cept I don’t have the M part.

  • Carol

    Ha! We’ll be WILFs!

  • Sheryl

    Jus plain Wimmin ILF?

  • Scott

    I thought it was implied her husband was a lucky SOB. As are we all that she hosts such a great blog. I guess you have to watch how you word things. Good intentions don’t come across the net easily.

    I’ll never comment on her looks again. No disrespect to the hubby!

  • Carol

    Sherly – there are no just PLAIN women. We do have vaginas after all!

    Scott – really, don’t worry about it. I’ve posted (or emailed) much worse. You’re fine.

    *wink wink* to Dooce and Sherly!

  • Sherly

    Yep I’d say you’ve done both.

  • Sherly

    This is kinda tmi re milfs, esp the post by “Jesus”:

  • Carol

    speaking of snorting…where’s amanda b?

    how’s the blog coming?

    let’s try to put it in a dooce frame… i’m thinking… dooce come on, for once,

    GET IN HERE!! Jason wants you to.

    It’s 8:18 SLC time. Leta’s in bed. Oh, but maybe you’re…well…. BOOHHHBAAAAAHHHH!!!

  • Sherly

    You are invoking the Dooce?

  • Carol


    will it happen?

    dark. quiet. raining like a SAHM outside. OOOHHHMMMM……

    will she come here? will she come ….

    BOOOHHHHBAAAHH!!! (that’s four)

    why do I feel like sporty?

  • Sherly

    Are you sporty?

  • closet metrosexual

    Scott, I wandered back up and re-read your original post that started the perv wrath. I don’t see how that got interpreted as pervy, but some people just see things a little different than you or I do. If you had written that about my wife (if I had a wife) or sister, I wouldn’t have been offended (my own little litmus test). No pervs here, just nice, but occasionaly misunderstood guys.

  • Not Dooce

    weird. I heard someone calling, but it might just be the medication.

  • Carol

    I am sporty, but not in the LT sense.

    Gotta go soon.

    I’ll be away for 5 (!!!) days. I don’t know if I can take it. After all, there is NO internets in RI !! : )

    Having trouble leaving….

  • Sherly

    You need a blackberry dude.

  • Carol

    Ha!!! Kristine. Or is is kristine??

    You cannot hide!

  • Carol

    God, no shit I need a Blackberry. Expensive. Can’t justify it.. part-timer. Nick has one. We’ll see. I’ve never worked one. but I’ve worked Nicks…um…blackberry.

  • Sherly

    I would imagine you have worked the blackberry before…

  • Sherly

    …prerequisite to the milf designation, no?

  • Carol

    Ha!! I am good a blackberry-working…..

    Going now… to bed. Sherly, let’s meet for “air-an-chee-nee” at Umbertos if…IF youre in town.


    Good night! Really this time. Talk to you soon. Will miss you guys…

    God Bless Dooce, Jon, Leta, Chuck, Sheryl, Amanda B., Fish, Dr. Fever, Closet M, lulu, Big Gay Sam, Karen Rani, LadyBug, GirlA, George!, Mrs. DoF, Gia, Kano, kristine, Molly, Mrs. Stray, and all the others because there are too many….

    Merry Shitmist…..

  • lexi

    dooce, you truly look pretty in this picture. you remind me of aimee mann sometimes. i love aimee mann.

  • MrsDoF

    I have to keep a little slip of paper beside the monitor and on it I write the number of the last Comment I read, so that when I come back later I will know where to pick up. It was a long way from #78 to #244 today.

    Heather you are a one brave woman to take a child to see Santa. Shudder. The crowd, the bratty/whiny little kids, the mouthy/sneering clerks (not to disparage all you hard-working/serve the public types. I was one for awhile)
    I have ONE picture of the two older boys with Santa, and one son has a hand grabbing the beard (it was a real one, thankfully).
    They refused to go any other year, and I never forced them.
    Catalog shopping, the Best.
    Tomorrow, I have to stand in line to mail the paper newsletter. Between printer paper, envelopes, stickers, stamps, there’s $60 invested.
    Gotta get more of the kinfolk doing e-mail.

  • Gia on Guam

    Awwww Carol…you included me! Or was that for the other Gia??

    Btw, I’m in a tank top today…and it’s scorching outside.

  • Lesley

    Heather, you look like you could be the babysitter in that photo. Like 15 years old.

  • SteveoBrien

    Is mommy annoyed, concentrating on something, or having deep thoughts (ex: supply of wipes on hand adequate?)

  • Eric Bostrom

    oh no! now jason has something new to whine about!

  • John Sloas

    all 5 of us went shopping today. we survived. i then gave my wife 2 hours to shop for me while I did baths. i really do hate Christmas.

  • mrs. george #2

    carol, do you need some of my valium? please, in the spirit of giving… you need it more than I do.