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This one is for you, GEORGE! Leta and Chuck miss you already

Oh, mah darlin’ GEORGE!

GEORGE! left for Texas yesterday morning. He dropped out of BYU (like any SANE person should) and is going to continue his education somewhere else in Texas. I cannot even articulate how much I am going to miss that cuddly bastard. Sometimes when we wake up on Sunday morning and he isn’t asleep on our [...]

A present for the story people

We did a terrible thing. No, really. I had promised myself that I would never give in to the vast commercial conspiracy that is Children’s Toys, especially ones marketed to perpetuate fascination with television characters which in turn perpetuates fascination with toys in the likeness of those television characters, BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER [...]

Go, dog, GO!

Leta says that every time she sees Chuck, and then she proceeds to torture him. I set her at the top of the bed so that I could pull up the covers, and Chuck was originally facing away from her. When I returned from grabbing the camera he had turned to face her almost as [...]

How to Charm Me

Give me a gift of jewelry that I will actually wear (no small feat!) thus making me feel AWFUL for all those times I used the word, “Godammit!” in association with your name.

Email: Merry Christmas

UPDATE! Djnieme@aol.com just sent me ANOTHER email telling me that I’m not being vigilant enough about Leta’s sensory issues and that because of that Leta is going to grow up and become autistic. I’m so not kidding. —— Thank you to everyone who sent me well wishes for the holidays and who sent me wonderful [...]

Chucknuts roasting on an open fire

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BABY!

Project Outburst

Just this morning I had a dream that I was walking down the runway on “America’s Next Top Model” and Heidi Klum was whispering something nasty about me to Tyra Banks and I shouted, from the runway and out loud into the bedroom, “SAY IT TO MY FACE, BITCH.” Jon woke abruptly and said, “Heather, [...]

Merry Christmas Eve… FROM MY BUTT!

Tis the season to be immature!

Scrumptious Bearded… oh wait! YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER!