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We may have to get rid of some of our furniture because our baby’s head has moved in.

Feeling Guilty

For forcing my daughter to watch CSPAN.

How to Annoy Me

Ask me if I’m breastfeeding and then stare obnoxiously at my chest. I know they’re big, but they can’t talk. Yet.


Iron and Wine: Our Endless Numbered Days

How to Charm Me

Fart in the tub and then look at us like That wasn’t me, that was the OTHER baby in this tub.


<div class =”shameless self promotion”> Never Threaten To Eat Your Co-workers </div>

Things I Never Noticed Until I Had a Baby

Do you know how loud refrigerators are? Whoever designed the ice maker in our refrigerator never had kids, otherwise the ice maker would have come equipped with a more family friendly acoustic system. The ice just falls and CRASHES into the other ice, and no one within a two block radius of our house can [...]


Guaranteed to alienate all Cherokees and rape victims!

Newsletter: Month Two

Dear Leta, Tomorrow you are officially eight weeks old. I am sitting here typing this as you lie sleeping next to me. Over the weekend your father and I discovered that if we place you on your stomach you will actually sleep longer than five minutes at a time. This morning, in fact, I had [...]


Alas, life as I know it is coming to an end.