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I know it’s a little late, but…

2005/01/06

I, for one, can rest easy now knowing that Santa is a Patriot.

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  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/01_06_2005.html moose

    blogging, clogging?

  • http://krissypants.blogspot.com krissy pants

    I think Dooce’s comment section has become more of a chat room…

  • kimmieindallas

    Since we’re still talking poop you might find this funny. I have an almost 5 year old son. When he finally poopy/potty trained I had a hard time wiping his bottom thoroughly whilst he was on the toilet. So I would most of the time have him bend over and shine his rear at me so’s I could make certain he wasn’t gonna leave RR tracks in his undies (a whole other poop topic!!).

    That was over 2 years ago. I’m still wiping his bottom. I’ve asked him to please stop bending over for me to wipe him. I’ve suggested multiple times that he can wipe himself. I said “what do you do when you are at school and you poop. Does the teacher wipe your bottom (and was scared I’d get a yes and scared of a no)?” Well, turns out his answer was neither. He says “I don’t poop at school. I only poop at home and at grandma’s house.”

    Oh Lord. What pain he is setting himself up for. The thing is, he DOES poop like 5 times a day at home!

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Pix: You can call me whatever you want, darling. I’ll still lurve you. Where’s the blog, dog?

  • the niffer

    Hey, I used to do that Irish dancing stuff before Dancey McJigg sullied its good name – and my point is that the skirt is too long for Irish dancing. Maybe not so for Modern Style Step Dancing…

    justwondering – Best air freshener is AirWick Sparkling Citrus. I’m right across from our work bathroom (which is great for me considering I pooped 4x today) and it doesn’t just smell like orange poo. It actually seems to neutralize the smell.

  • zebob

    I pooped twice at work. And thought of ya’ll.

  • http://northamericanoil.com/20_pc.html La Pixiatrix

    Fish, big project I been working on. But La Pixiatric will release blog soon. You’ll be one of the first to know.

    Best air freshener ever – North American 100% Natural Non-aerosol
    Pure Citrus
    Citrus Blend Air Freshener

    http://northamericanoil.com/20_pc.html

  • http://sadiepink.motime.com Sadie

    I had that same expression come Christmas time…….

  • Paula

    I have a little can of Oust that I use at work. It comes with sticky backing so you can stick it on the wall behind the toilet. It actually works pretty well.

  • http://butterstar.blogspot.com/ butterstar

    Santa may be a b&e man, but he’s ALL about Homeland Security.

    mrs. g#2: If I was an elf, I’d totally be humping Santa’s weg.

  • http://sadiepink.motime.com Sadie

    How ’bout some Va-POO-rize?

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    *I am the lord of the Dance*

  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/12_31_2004.html robin

    Love the new banner

  • Laura C.

    Here’s something for the Dooce Poop Club: http://www.ratemypoo.com.

    (Definitely not work safe, and maybe don’t look if you’ve just eaten. But it’s sickly fascinating.)

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    I am so not rating poo, unless it is in my own cammode.

  • http://lunajoy.net/bluemoon Mari

    I have a Santa almost exactly like that. My mother-in-law got it for me fro Home Interior. He’s called “Patriot Santa” or something like that. He’s my favorite Christmas decoration.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    ummm…i am the lord of the dance…

  • Viktor

    I’m not going to comment about poo (I know, I’m just such a square) but I feel compelled to mention the super-close-up, tiny fraction of the whole picture on the main page is really cool. The parts you choose, the uniformity of color you always get…very cool, very creative.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Amanda, are you telling us you want to dance? It’s Riverdance, girl — you don’t need permission to start hoppin’ around. But no moving the arms. We will be watching.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    I just wanted someone to acknowledge my awsome moves. Thankyou.

  • http://www.thejulietfiles.com JulieT

    You know you’ve made it when people start plagiarizing your shit.

    No one puts anything past Dooce.

  • koof

    what a butt for stealing your shit. jeez. can’t we know who? you don’t want us to bomb her with comments and other un-niceties? cause we SO would. we got yo’ back, dooce.

  • koof

    julieT and i both referred to it as your “shit”…appropriate, no?

  • http://diversionmary.com Eric Bostrom

    Ha, i’ve had to have isp’s tear pages down, i’ve had users removed. Sometimes they steal images from me but don’t bother to host it on their own site, that’s when the real fun begins. Ask jon about .htacces combined with mod_rewrite. It used to make me furious, but not so much anymore.

  • http://www.thejulietfiles.com JulieT

    I actually think it’s better that we DON’T know.

    Could you sleep at night if you printed stuff on a site that didn’t belong to you? I couldn’t.

  • http://www.kempland4u.com Gooooder

    Personally I think that girl must be insane for stealing your stuff so blantantly.

    I just do not understand plagarism.

  • ashik

    Seriously – plagiarism is the truest form of flattery. … Er, ya,
    Sink the bitch

  • http://www.mcphee.com Erika

    There is only one Dooce – and despite any attempts to steal her wonderful writing ways she will always be the only Dooce.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    Well I fully intend to steal this. thing. that. You. Do. But I will not try to pass it off as mine.

    I’m kidding. Do not hurt me.

  • http://chookooloonks.typepad.com Karen

    Dooce — seriously, why don’t you turn her in to her school? I would. I mean, probably nothing would come of it, except maybe they’d take a closer work at any term papers she turned in …

    … I’m just sayin’.

  • http://www.muppetous.com Muppet

    I’ve been lurking for a while now, mostly because I don’t want to get lost in the huddled masses that worship this site. :) But I do like your blog. And since yesterday was officially De-Lurking Day, I thought I’d say hey.

    About the girl stealing your stuff: I find it both hilarious and extremely disappointing that she was sorry only for being caught and not for STEALING and LYING in the first place. If you have so little to write about that you have to use someone else’s material, why are you writing at all?

  • La Pixiatrix

    I like how she said you were stalking her.

    I suppose she prefers never to be accountable – even for something she creates herself. Like crime and self delusion.

    Human nature is a weird thing sometimes.

    I wonder what her college entrance essay was about.

  • Carol

    if she’s at an ivy league school, that’d be the end of her. but she is guilty….

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    Fawk her, she only said that cuz she got caught. Umm, where is the link to her site? Hellloooo

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    AmandaB. you just want Jon to email you.
    He did me, and even though it was very nice I still felt like a big pile of bovine fecal matter.

  • chahn

    RE: the snot-nosed plagarist… You should just tell her that you found it so fast because the Internet’s got your back, be-yatch! :)

  • april

    seriously. you have some issues.

  • http://http:/www.biggaysam.blogspot.com Big Gay Sam

    awww how sweet… imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

    I bet we all know how she got into that Ivy League College.

    yep.

    damn cheater.

  • A reader

    Love your site

  • http://christine.theajnetwork.com Molly

    I can’t believe that idiot college girls stole your shit, and then called you insane, what a bitch. No one compares to Dooce. By the way, how DID you find it, and so fast?

  • twaci

    star spangled santa?

  • http://mileena.blogspot.com pam

    come on! share with us! we wanna see her little site. :) dont hold back.. she called you insane!

  • http://www.itssonotaboutyou.com sporty

    dude, that’s sick!!!

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    Ms. Strizzay-I DO NOT want to get a stern email from Mr. Armstrong. Although if I implemented Pooka…I maybe could take him.

  • Kellie

    So I know I’m not first, but I’m awfully early!
    Santa looks buzzed.

  • http://www.katewoman.com Kate K

    Dooce:

    I am SO fired up about this Ivy League student. The fucking audacity. I’m sorry people are so unoriginal but at least it reaffirms your utter coolness that people want others to think that they are as clever, witty, and smart as you.

    Fucking bitches.

  • http://www.mycircuslife.com Circus Kelli

    I feel like I should salute or something…

    I love the way the blue of his eyes matches the blue of the flag.

    Another great picture from Dooce! Woo!

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    No, not the Pooka! Manda, please don’t hurt ‘em!

    Jon will have to get a titanium ass piece to go with his titanium cod piece.

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    Hell yeah Santa is an American. We’re his number one source of royalties.

    poo poo
    I’m gonna be near the top of the list.

  • http://www.danielleblog.com Danielle

    I remember a comment thread one day (quite a while ago) where some girl had stolen a whole post and put it on her blog. She commented on a picture, and someone actually looked at her blog and saw it. When the people who comment here called her on it, she claimed that “a friend had emailed her the story”. After a bunch of people here told her how inappropriate she was, she took it down… makes me wonder if it is the same girl. That other girl had a distinct lack of morals/regret too.

    dumb fucks.

    (I’m feeling riled up enough to curse.)

    I say notify the school. They do it once…

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