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View from Danger Park | dooce® dooce® » I'm Heather B. Armstrong. This is my website. » View from Danger Park

View from Danger Park



  • KarenB

    does anyone have the link to daniel’s blog?

  • http://www.savbar.com Kittie

    awakening the sleeping bat? I am SO going to use that one!

  • Carol
  • http://www.electricboogaloo.net tiffany

    Hey! For Christmas I made my friend’s baby a bunch of teething biscuits shaped like dog bones so whenever they’re in public people will think they’re giving their kid doggy biscuits. Because I KNOW how much she loves to be embarrassed in public. (Hi Nina!!)

  • ashik

    Awakening the sleeping bat…not terribly pleasant sounding, that one. But diving for the pearl – - that IS visually, er, stimulating.

  • http://shiz.typepad.com/ Shiz

    Ew. Okay, I know I’m sensitive, but a co-worker just put his hand on my back and I’m all feeling ew! ew! ew! right now. I’m sure it was innocent, but I’m really creeped out right now.

    Ew.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    Innocently knee him in his special arrangement, Shiz!

  • http://georgeboone.blogspot.com GEORGE!

    Circus Kelli the blurbodoocery is actually a warehouse. The pictures don’t do justice for the actual size of the house. It’s huge! So huge, that down in the basement I feel like I’m a giant because the ceiling can’t be any higher than 6’5″.

  • http://chloeishere.diaryland.com/ Chloe

    The picture is gorgeous.
    Oh, and about the one where you forgot to turn off the white balance for incandescent lighting or whatever: I wish I had white balance so I could see the sky that color. I suppose illegal drugs could probably provide some new and facinating colors, but I just don’t think it’s worth it, especially with you around to take pictures!

    Also, as a midwesterner: inquiring minds need to know… how do you pronounce concrete? If kahn-creet is so wrong, than what can be right? Nothing! NOTHING!

  • http://clobberblogger.blogspot.com Colleen from NJ

    Shiz,
    Tell your co-worker with the happy hands how hard it’s been for you to get over your latest bout with body lice.

  • Karen B

    thanks Carol

  • http://www.mycircuslife.com Circus Kelli

    GEORGE! said at 02:35PM, 01.13.2005:
    Circus Kelli the blurbodoocery is actually a warehouse. The pictures don’t do justice for the actual size of the house. It’s huge! So huge, that down in the basement I feel like I’m a giant because the ceiling can’t be any higher than 6’5”.

    I *knew* it!

  • RazDreams

    GEORGEOUS!

  • http://themissus.blogspot.com BJT

    That does it: I’m visiting Utah.

  • Michelle

    http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/08_25_2003.html

    I hope Beth 1) was one of those neighbors with whom you went to the zoo and 2) reminds Dooce of this (the above link) as part of tomorrow’s 53 phone calls.

  • http://krissypants.blogspot.com krissy pants

    props to RazDreams for a most excellent usage of Georgeous

  • http://shiz.typepad.com/ Shiz

    Special arrangement? You crack me up!

    Have any of you ladies heard the expression, “Which side do you dress?” I heard it THIS WEEK for the 1st time and I laughed hysterically. Apparently it’s uncommon for men to “dress” on the right side.

  • http://www.betterdayscrafts.com andrea

    Shiz, I don’t get it. I don’t get it!!! Are you talking about where they put their balls when they get dressed?

    Ball-related story: a coworker’s 3-year-old son ran up to her, butt naked, planted himself squarely in front of her, pointed to his “special arrangement” and said, “Mom? What are these? Seriously.” She told him they are testicles.

    Later on he took a spill off the back of the couch, and told his mom, “Mom, I fell, and now my stinkles hurt!”

    Stinkles indeed!

  • http://shiz.typepad.com/ Shiz

    The side a man “dresses” on refers to, as a comedian put it, “Which way your wang hangs.” When a man gets a suit tailor made, the tailor asks, “Which side do you dress” so he can but a bit more room on that side. True.

    The comedian told his tailor “The right side” and the tailor kept saying, “Are you SURE?”

  • http://shiz.typepad.com/ Shiz

    Oooh, andrea, I’ve got another one. When a friend’s son was in kindergarten the family watched Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. The following day in the car he said, “Mom I’m so happy! My technicals just dropped!”

  • http://dirtyfloorsandfilthyjokes.blogspot.com/ closet metro

    Shiz. left. not that you needed to know, but I felt compelled to share.

  • http://www.betterdayscrafts.com andrea

    Ahh, thanks for enlightening me! Never heard that phrase before, although I figured it had something to so with the twig n’ berries.

  • http://www.redsaid.net redsaid

    Am I LAST?!? REALLY?!? HURRAY!

    Hey Heather, stunning pic. My South African disposition (which is fragile whenever the temperature drops below 80) might even be willing to brave the cold for a visit to Utah. Everyone is right, the Tourism Board SHOULD pay you. And hell, the Mormons should be too. Just because they seem to have a lot of money. (Especially since Ken Jennings gave them a lot of his Jeopardy! earnings.) When they’re done building elaborate temples, what else do they blow the cash on? The special secret underwear?

  • RazDreams

    (why THANK YOU, krissy pants!!!)

  • Gia on Guam

    Giselle Bundchen has fake breasts. On a recent VS catalog, she posed while lifting a breast with her wrist and her scar was clearly visible. I can’t beleive they let that one go to print.

  • http://alenaswebpage.blogspot.com/ Alena

    I can’t think of any good euphamisms for girl-on-girl action, which is rather embarrassing, considering I’m a lesbian. However, I think my favorite one for female masturbation is ‘rubbing one out’. As in, I’m going to stop posting so I can rub one out.

  • http://www.tc.umn.edu/~webs0080/eggnogrecipe.pdf Eric

    RE: wednesday’s post: sounds like infant messaging!

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    Giselle is quite Callypigian.

  • jane

    Were one to feed one’s baby dog biscuits, the possibility exists that it would perhaps do one and one’s baby no harm at all.

    For example, one’s mother may have let one’s aunt babysit one until one was old enough to go to school, and during that time one may repeatedly have been fed dog biscuits for the amusement of said aunt. However, one may have grown up into a polyglot National Merit Scholar, regardless of the dog biscuits one may perhaps still be digesting.

    One wishes good luck to one.

  • banana hands

    another phrase for “rubbing one out” is “fiddling the bean”

  • http://www.artfuldrone.com James

    Your pictures are too small.

  • hmm

    Too small to steal and re-post elsewhere, James?

  • http://occupant.org/anna lulu cornichon

    Too small to print out and use as a pretty emergency rain hat?

  • http://www.mamalife.blogspot.com Lisa

    Oh that’s very funny about feeding Leta the dog biscuit. Hey, as long as she didn’t start barking and the dog didn’t start making baby noises, I doubt any harm was done! And if this did happen, you could probably get a spot on Dave Letterman!

  • http://www.spreegirl.net Ren

    Oh heeeeey, now that’s nice! Man, I wish I had local views like that, truly.

  • Gia on Guam

    Double Decker Tacos

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    My husband says *flicking* the bean. UGH I hate it. I prefer fingering the accused or tickling my taco.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    Ahhhh. It’s like the vagina monolouges in here. I’m so proud that so many women are in touch with their hoohoos.

    And I have no doubt that the guys are too right about now.

  • http://humanwrites.blogspot.com Dr. Johnny Fever

    Punching the munchkin.
    Making Miracle Whip.
    Hounding the hog.
    Punding the pumpkin.

  • http://reformedstrippersanon.blogspot.com JessicaRabbit

    I had a guy friend who used to call it Spinning a Web. As in “I gotta go my girlfriend will be home soon and I wanted to slip in that new porn and spin a web real quick.”

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    I had someone say they wanted to beat my gorilla. I was all like huh wuh?

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    Jilling Off

    Mending the Pink Sock

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Gack! I’m stuck in meetings and work all day (since 7 am) with no computer freedom whatsoever, and you guys are all in here talking euphemisms without me. :(

    It’s enough to make a girl wanna do a solo hike on the snail trail. . .

  • http://s Girl.A

    Ipsism, onanism; Amatripsis-rubbing labia together, Manuxorate-male using hand, Maritate-female alone, Siphnianize-anal, Syntribate-rubbing thighs together, Triborgasmia-wife who masturbates husband

    http://www.darklady.com/Confessional03.html

  • http://rivervision.com/wfp/ brooke

    *sigh* we don’t have sights quite that amazing in eugene, oregon.. but sometimes pretty close.. shots like that make me do the “ooooooohhhh yea, this is why i live here” sigh.

  • http://humanwrites.blogspot.com Dr. Johnny Fever

    Hey, let’s all get together and watch some porn!

  • Gia on Guam

    What kind of porn?

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    No porn could be more obscene than the fact that my workday is going on 16 hours now.

    Help me! I’ve fallen and I can’t blog!

  • http://humanwrites.blogspot.com Dr. Johnny Fever

    No animals, if that’s what you’re asking.

  • Chelsea

    I cant believe you mentioned the dreaded lipstick. GROT.