Chuck, age 4 months, first instance of clothed humiliation

That’s our apartment in LA. Do you see the baby fat seeping out of the collar of the shirt?

  • yes I’m blonde

    Response to shy:

    I’m double-jointed. Aside from that, I’ll contort myself into ANY position to achieve the ultimate G-spot (usually multiple) orgasm!

    *racy music continues to play*

  • popsicle

    Y.E.S! im FIRST, finally.

    i do not think it is always so bad to blow during the sucking process. i mean, afterall, one needs to expel air and the frequency of expulsion is in direct relation to the fitness of the sucker. just food for thought.

    long live peanut butter and banana sandwiches !

  • http://sadandbeautiful.typepad.com Sarah

    God:
    I humbly request that you consider smiting Those Who Begrudge people the small fun it might give them to shout ‘FIRST’ here.
    Anyone who is that irritated by such minutiae needs a good smiting.
    Thank you All Mighty One

  • shy

    in response to Yes I’m Blonde:

    usually multiple? o ok now your just braggin. hmph!!

  • http://www.mycircuslife.com Circus Kelli

    Mrs. Strizzay — elf pleasure?! Whoa. You must get a REALLY good report sent to Santa every year…

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    GOD- forgive. I am but a humble human who used to rely on platonic spooning as a replacement for hot monkey lovin. I shall go forth and sin no more.

    One more thing. Could you smite heavily the one called “yes I’m blond”? She is mean and evil.

  • http://iamwhoam.blogspot.com Mormon General Authority

    YES I’M BLONDE THIS IS GOD. I SHALL STRIKE YOU DEAD SO’S YOU CAN COME UP HERE AND SIT ON MY LAP, MY LITTLE ANGEL.

    JESUS THIS IS GOD. GO AWAY BOY, YOU BOTHER ME.

    THAT IS ALL.

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    I can multi gasm if the foreplay (or alcohol) is adequate. Proper pre hotness is required to bust a move.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Has everyone seen the headlines: “SATURN’S MOON COVERED IN SEAS OF FLAMMABLE NATURAL GAS”?

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    The 9 year old boy in me is just rolling: Moon? Flammable natural gas?

    hehe!

  • http://www.biggaysam.blogspot.com Big Gay Sam

    “Pink Tacos”

    I usually call them killer clams. :p

    but that’s just me.

  • http://sadandbeautiful.typepad.com Sarah

    GOD HAS TURNED HIS BACK ON ME.

    I feel awful.

  • Jesus H Christ

    Dad, this is Jesus.

    You suck.

    And I’m running away to live with my _real_ dad. (Remember Joseph?)

    That is all.

  • http://www.dooce.com In the know

    Sarah, I believe GOD sarcastically addressed your concern in comment number 177.

  • Carol

    Husband is not going to know what hit him this weekend!! Legs around the neck indeed!!
    (thanks for the tip!)

    MGA – you are funny. That is all.

  • mel

    speaking from hot girl-on-girl experience, there are some times when blowing is just lovely. for instance (pencils ready?) : pink taco + breath mint + blowing = minty tingling deliciousness! cool and refreshing!

  • http://www.mycircuslife.com Circus Kelli

    Jesus H Christ said at 12:52PM, 01.21.2005:
    Dad, this is Jesus.

    You suck.

    And I’m running away to live with my real dad. (Remember Joseph?)

    That is all.

    OH. MY. GAWD. THAT IS FUNNY!

  • shy

    in response to Big Gay Sam:

    of course you do darlin’.

  • Carol

    Oh. Oh my.

  • http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily_photo/01_21_2005.html Just wondering

    Anyone heard the expression “meat curtains” before?

  • yes I’m blonde

    Amanda B. : no, no, not evil! Just want to share the wealth!

    MGA: must be b/c of the missionary position, I take it…

    Shy: no, no, not bragging! Just happily sated. At least I was last night ;)

  • shy

    Yes I’m Blonde:

    Not really “sharin’ the wealth”. Unless you have a web cam, a laser pointer and a follow along instruction manual, the rest of us are at a loss.

  • yes I’m blonde

    Shy: no, don’t do webcams. Just trying to help Amanda B. find her missing G-spot. “G-spot! Oh, G-spot! Can you *come* out and play?

    Hmm, another good G-spot position is woman on top, man sitting up, legs around his shoulders. Helps if you(the woman) have a headboard to lean back against.

    Not sure if this helps you, Shy; are you a pillow girl?

  • shy

    Yes I’m blonde:

    definitely not a pillow princess. I’m more of a hands on, game face ready, “in it to win it” pink taco fan.

    btw: i was just jokin about the web cam

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com kristine

    Poor Dooce. The first day of pre school with Leta:

    Leta running to the front of the line: “I’M FIRST”
    Dooce: “Shut up kid, you’re being annoying!”

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    To which Leta responds “Cock orgasm fucker!”

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ Mrs.Strizzay

    Position of the week :

    Bend over arm of couch so face is pushed into the back of said couch. Lift leg farthest away from back of couch onto the arm of said couch. Begin jackhammering.

    You should orgasm in 3-8 minutes if proper foreplay or alcohol has been provided.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Strizzay, you are funny.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    about the Leta line … not about the jackhammering. that’s just intriguing.

  • yes I’m blonde

    Shy: ok, I was close (pillow girl/pillow princess). Not quite sure if you’re into other things – or other things are into you (!), so the G-spot info may or maynot pertain to you :)

  • Carol

    Jesus, i think i need a cold shower.

  • Jesus H Christ

    Carol, are you praying for rain? ‘Cause I can do that.
    Also – turning water to wine? I’m your man. Got a leper in the family? Give me a ring.

    But if you need any burning bushes or talking donkeys, you better give my Dad a call.

  • http://www.kempland4u.com Gooooder

    ahahaha pink taco!

    so happy to read that at work!

  • http://www.jelene.com jelene

    you know you can always move to columbia, south carolina, where the mascot for the univ. of sc, is the gameCOCK. in short, people around these here parts, have “GO COCKS” written on their license plates, bumper stickers, hats, shirts, you name it. or you can just go short and just say, COCKS!!! everyone around here, doesn’t laugh and giggle that, they just KNOW, ya know, because it’s COCK country around here. look it up… http://www.sc.edu. i’m pround to say that i’m an official COCK alumnus.
    my front bumper plate proudly says, COCKS. i bet if you drove around in utah with a plate like that, everyone would shudder in horror, point and cover their children’s eyes.

  • U.B.

    Strizzay — that sounds more difficult than ‘flying octopus, level 8′.

    After reading these, I have *got* to get myself into yoga or something.

    If I ask my wife to wrap her legs around my shoulders while bending double, the imminent and extensive laughter will be the only thing that is “multiple” that nite…

  • Carol

    Jesus: Sorry, I was using your name in vain. Please forgive. But, while you’re offering, please let me have many sensational organisms this weekend with my hot husband. Thanks.

  • chevy

    i have been able to squirt when there is a moderately large COCK involved, and he’s behind me and i’m up against the wall, front towards the wall, back towards him. that’s the only way, but god is it awesome.

  • http://www.savbar.com Kittie

    It is my personal opinion that Sensational Organisms rock better then anything else

  • http://www.savbar.com Kittie

    I ate a Pink Taco once and it made me sick…must have had some bad Mayo

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Kittie: re: bad Mayo: EWWWWW
    eeeeeeeeeeeWWWWww
    eeeW
    eweweeeewwwwww!

  • Jesus H Christ

    Carol: Um, yeah. That’s my DAD’s department. But, hey, um…like I said…wine or lepers…give me a call.

  • http://txlonghornwife.blogspot.com The Wife

    Lady Bug: Umm…can’t believe I didn’t catch that one earlier. lol

    Kittie: Oh dear God!

  • shy

    Kittie:
    Pink Tacos with bad mayo…i think there are suppositories for that kind of thing.

  • The Boss

    There’s a word that is used to describe what happens to people who spend too much work time reading blogs–

    FIRED!

    Get back to work!

  • http://www.talktomegoose.com april

    chuck is a rockstar!

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Who IS the boss, anyway? Tony or Angela? Or was it Mona?

  • http://txlonghornwife.blogspot.com The Wife

    Angela was a biatch. Mona was a slut. Tony was a submissive. So that would make Mona the boss.

  • shy

    maybe “the boss” should practice what the “boss preaches”…or there could be an ugly investigation peding with some mysterious xeroxes of the assistant’s “bleep” showing up in “Da Man’s” inbox.

    ;)

  • http://voteprime.com agerard

    I can’t stop smiling at former congressman Chuckles. He just looks so dang happy.

  • carol

    Fish – LMAO.