Chuck, age 4 months, first instance of clothed humiliation

That’s our apartment in LA. Do you see the baby fat seeping out of the collar of the shirt?

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com kristine

    Fish, If I haven’t said it a million times already: YOU ARE SO FUNNY!

  • pea

    The young Congressman is adorable!

    The rest of you: sick and hysterical! In the best way possible, of course. ;)

  • DoulaBrooke

    Wow, I have learned SO MUCH from my daily two minute visit here…..you are all dirty dirty people, and I think I love you!

  • victoria

    I can’t believe no one’s taken Heather to task for allowing her precious baby to be exposed to smut like that filthy book & Heather’s potty mouth.

    Did all the trolls go away, or are they just being lazy today? Comments is like a completely different place today.

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com kristine

    ’cause Closet Metrosexual isn’t here.

  • http://lasadh.blogspot.com Sherri

    I wonder what the consequenses might be of showing that “Sensational Organism” photo to Leta’s dates when she’s a teenager.

    Will they be curious to find out what she really learned from gnawing on the book? And therefor instantly commit acts of sin and fornication?

    *Or* will they be so intimidated by the notion that this girl’s gonna have some MAJOR expectations, that they’ll experience serious performance anxiety and keep her virginity in tact?

    Might be interesting…

  • so not blonde

    Hey, yes I’m blonde, we tried this:
    “another good G-spot position is woman on top, man sitting up, legs around his shoulders”

    Did you mean “her legs around his shoulders,” ’cause when we got in position and he tried to put his legs around his shoulders, it just all went very, very wrong. We’re waiting for the paramedics. Ya’ll pray for us now.

  • http://dirtyfloorsandfilthyjokes.blogspot.com/ closet metro

    Kristine, I’m here. I’m taking notes.

  • http://holyschmidt.blogspot.com Melanie S

    I love being on top of him and putting my feet under his hips, therefore forcing the “bits of naughtiness”, grenis, dick, sea-monkey diliverer, etc. further into my kitty, thus creating more friction and causing the best fucking organisms EVER!!!!!!!

    If that doesn’t work for you, then buy a vibrator!

  • victoria

    Since slack-jawed ingenue is my role in comments:

    “grenis”?

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    Oh. Tony Danza is SO the boss.

    You guys are unusually limber. Is it Cirque du Soliel day? Maybe I’m just getting old.

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    Gasp! Metro!

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Mrs.Strizzay said at 01:26PM, 01.21.2005:
    Position of the week :

    Bend over arm of couch so face is pushed into the back of said couch. Lift leg farthest away from back of couch onto the arm of said couch. Begin jackhammering.

    You should orgasm in 3-8 minutes if proper foreplay or alcohol has been provided.

    Okay, *Mrs.Strizzay* – I’m afraid I need a little, erm…clarification here.

    1. Face pushed into the back of the couch? I passed out briefly.

    2. Lift leg farthest away blahblahblah…Um, this sounds a lot like Chuck’s peeing position. Oh, and I fell down.

    3. Jackhammering? Wasn’t sure what you meant by that, but I knew urbandictionary.com would clear things right up. So. Did you mean this definition:

    “4. jackhammer
    what you do is a cricket on 1 hand so the other hand behind your back or something and then bounce in a circle.
    _a jackhammer look impossible_”

    Or this one?

    “7. jackhammer
    Commonly known as Hansen, Hardcore, or Destructor. Is tricky and requires you to get on top. Characteristics include a rhythmic pounding and a peculiar knowledge of aquatic life.
    1. When going to the bars, Hansen likes to turn on the charms of the Jackhammer.
    2. The Jackhammer is tricky like that, sometimes you gotta climb on top and ride it out”

    ‘Cause it sounds like the first one involves insects and the second one involves…aquatic life? I’m not sure I’m really in to either one of those.

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    Amanda B,
    Don’t act all surprised – you know very well Metro has a nut-slappin side to him.

    Or did you already forget??

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.

    Riiight. The “nut slappin one”.

    I was actually happy that he made it back safe. After the Sonny Bono incident…I haven’t felt the same about skiing.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Sonny Bono Incident? aw man. I miss EVERYTHING.

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    Sunny Boner Accident?

  • http://www.veryzen.blogspot.com Amanda B.
  • Chris

    First!

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com kristine

    Yay! METRO!!

  • http://misskimberley.blogpost.com MIss Kimberley

    Love It

  • http://dirtyfloorsandfilthyjokes.blogspot.com/ closet metro

    Amanda, of course I’m taking notes. All this female honesty isn’t going to waste on me. (Well, actually it is, seeing as though the sound of nuts slapping will not be heard in my bedroom again tonight.)

  • http://www.rebeccablaho.com Rebecca

    How cute!

  • http://randomandodd.blogspot.com kristine

    CM-

    Yeah, that’s a nice mental picture.

  • Sara

    So precious. I love Chuckles.

  • http://hydrangeasarepretty.blogspot.com/ Shelli

    the sound of nuts slapping? HUH? I don’t get it, oh yeah, because I’m one of those lesbians who NEVER used the term pink taco-but it had me laughing my ASS off!

  • http://www.geocities.com/tabbie_faerie Tabbie

    Darn

  • http://someadventure.blogspot.com/ Girl.A

    Metro,
    not even the sound of one nut slapping?

  • http://http:prettycrabby,com Em

    Aw, Chuck! You are the cutest! Baby fat or not…

  • http://dirtyfloorsandfilthyjokes.blogspot.com/ closet metro

    Kristine and Shelli, you two need to keep up on the associated blogs, namely this entry on girl.a’s:

    “The only thing that keeps that ass from being the callipygian ideal, is the fact that my nuts aren’t slapping against it.”

  • Nina

    look at all that chest hair!

  • lynne
  • http://spelunk.blogspot.com mrs. george #2

    he looks SO HAPPY to be dressed in that pink Gap baby tee. I RUFF YOU, CHUCK!

  • http://tinyurl.com Please

    Lynne,
    Please go to http://www.tinyurl.com to make your links much smaller.
    Thank you

  • Suzanne

    All dressed up and nowhere to go?

  • http://spelunk.blogspot.com mrs. george #2

    SLAPPIE!!!!

    Welcome back dude, we missed the sound of your nuts round here.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Chuck doesn’t look too humiliated there, but maybe he just hasn’t walked past a mirror yet.

    What’s up with the “one ear up, one ear down” thing, Chuckles?

  • Med school finally pays off

    When I was in med school, a professor warned us about the “suck not blow” problem. What can happen is a small air bubble can enter the bloodstream and cause a fatal air embolism. However, he noted that this is extremely rare and the only case he had seen was in a pregnant woman, because pregnancy causes increased bloodflow to that region. Nevertheless, I do occasionally think of the possibility when things are getting hot and heavy. Now there’s a turn on . . .

  • http://spelunk.blogspot.com mrs. george #2

    by the way, when I saw an article of clothing in the thumbnail frame I was distraught, thinking that we would be denied of our much anticipated Chuck Friday this week. I’m happy to admit that I was wrong, oh so wrong.

  • http://spelunk.blogspot.com mrs. george #2

    how can it enter the blood stream? Is there like some secret valve with direct access to a major artery down there? HOW?

  • http://sadandbeautiful.typepad.com Sarah

    What a funny picture…he totally looks like he’s smiling, and the one ear up/one ear down…did it hurt when you removed the superglue?

  • http://spelunk.blogspot.com mrs. george #2

    and while I’m not a doctor, I do know that it takes a LOT of air to create a deadly embolism, like 100cc or more. Who is blowing THAT MUCH AIR into someone’s taco?

    I know that it takes a lot of air, because I am a VERY UNPROFESSIONAL AND HIGHLY UNQUALIFIED nuse who once blasted about 5cc of air into my patient’s central line (on accident) and subsequently began freaking out, thinking that I was about to cause an embolism. Until I called the doc and he told me to chill the fuck out.

  • http://www.lindseyandray.com/blog.html Library Girl

    Sir Chuckles looks quite fetching in pink stripes. He’s totally working that preppy look!

  • andy

    Heather, your comment about who should be the authority on whether an orgasm is sensational or not reminded me of this dialog from Manhattan:

    Party Guest: I finally had an orgasm, and my doctor said it was the wrong kind.

    Isaac Davis: You had the wrong kind? I’ve never had the wrong kind, ever. My worst one was right on the money.

  • http://chloeishere.diaryland.com Chloe (is here)

    RUFF!

    Wait, was that for today? It’s too damn early.

  • http://What? Superplum

    Is it me, or does Chuck-Full-O-Nuts have some ‘red rocket’ action going on?

    Or are we not supposed to talk about that cause he’s a minor?

  • http://the5thmuse.diary-x.com psyche

    “Do i look good, or do i look GOOD?” Cutie Chuckie :D

  • http://song.september-rain.org/blogger.html song

    my son Kaidin (nearly 3) wants to know when he can pat Chuck and meet Leta. He promises not to blow ever.

  • http://througlife.blogspot.com kEma

    haha He seems pleased to be humiliated. Crazy dog! But I love him :}} lol

  • http://alenaswebpage.blogspot.com/ Alena

    I thought being a Mountaineer (WVU) was embarassing, but the Cocks definitely win that one.

    Also, good to know that it only takes about an hour before the thread turns sexual. Buncha dirty, dirty chicken-chasing perverts.

    As for the mystical G-Spot/non-clitoral orgasm.. it actually doesn’t take odd contortions or anything. All you need is a dildo with a large head. I know this because before dating the aforementioned squirter, I never believed my G-Spot was functional. Until she broke out the glass dildo, that is.

    It takes some pushing against the object, and confidence that you won’t pee, even though it feels like it. I couldn’t overcome the latter, so I wasn’t able to let go completely, but I totally want to do it again. It felt SO good.