• Dang cold..

    Oh and “Julianne….suffering in Halifax” is right. We have Jesuits running our booz intake in this country except for Quebec. We’re one step away from Utah. :P

  • http://www.kempland4u.com/images-even-your-mom-would-lik/ Gooooder

    Dooce: Better Than The Reality of My Boring Work Any Day of the Damn Week

  • Red from MN

    Sharing. I never did catch on to that idea.

  • calsmama

    Just have to add to the wacky town list…

    I live in Washington State near the town of Humptulips. I think it is a Native American name, but it always provided plenty of fodder for Junior High jokes.

  • http://mihow.com mihow

    Good luck, dang cold. IT will be there for years, maybe decades, to come.


  • Red from MN

    Sharing. I never did catch on to that idea.

  • http://lobsterchick.diaryland.com Sandy

    Heather – I may have missed this somewhere traversing through your daily archives, but could you clue me in on how much your Nikon D70 cost you? I’m seeing an enormous price range, and don’t want to pay out the ass if I don’t have to. Thanks!

  • Dang cold…

    Shit now I’ve got leakbutt in my head. I’m a dead man.

    Leakbutt and rectalage sitting in a tree…

  • http://www.lizincorporated.com Liz

    Oh that is so sweet! She’ll be reading up a storm in no time!

  • tickled

    Jess (#281)–
    Ah’m wit’ you on da problem of
    copin’ wit’ da Keeper in da company washroom. See
    #130 in yestiddy’s comments.
    Revolting li’l device, no? Druther
    yank a string any ol’ day.

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Dooce: Killing Brain Cells the Legal Way

    Dooce: More Interesting Than Fiscal Year 2005

    Dooce: Increasing Productivity Since 2002

    Dooce: Your Online Source for Hemerroidal Rectalage Since 2002

    Dooce: Propping up the NYT Style Section since 2002

    Dooce: Leading the Way in the Downfall of Corporate America

    Dooce: It rhymes with “loose,” But I’m Not

    Dooce: Making you Realize Just How Boring Work Is

    Dooce: Better than Pornographic Spam

    Dooce: Salt Lake City is in the House

  • http://www.iwantmycake.com Jason

    Holy Crap.m I’ve never been this high up in the comment count!

  • Dang cold…


    Morons? MORONS?!?!?!? I hope you get a nasty, chafing bout of rectalage and leakbutt that would make quasimodo howl and beg for death. That’ll learn ya…

  • http://www.kempland4u.com/images-even-your-mom-would-lik/ Gooooder

    Yeah, I mean, I’d rather read about the most disgusting forms of poop than even start to think about this hard bounce email list in front of me of over 600 people.

    Besides, poop is funny. Hard Bounce is not. It involves spreadsheets and merging and crap. Lots of unfunny crap.

  • http://amy.ordinarymorning.net Amy

    She looks so content with a book her in lap. She’s one smart cookie :) You are a blessed momma.

  • Sim

    Those of you squicked out by the Keeper are missing out. It’s more convenient, more comfortable, more healthy, more affordable, more ecological… Don’t let the Kotex mafia tell you otherwise. Oh, and for those with latex sensitivity, there’s the Diva cup, a silicone version.

  • http://www.mycircuslife.blogspot.com Circus Kelli

    Dooce: For when reading about menstruation and poop is far more interesting than the work you are supposed to be doing

  • http://www.anybodysguess.blogspot.com CanadianAmy

    Oh My Dear God in Heaven.

    MONTHS of trying to usurp the dedicated Doocesters, and I finally see my name at the top.

    I tell ya, it’s right up there with havin’ a baybee.

  • Neely

    Oh. My. God. I totally can not believe I am #352! That is like the coolest ever!!

    OK, morons, how about you just leave Dooce a nice message instead of talking about what number comment you are.

  • http://mihow.com mihow

    This reminds me of something that takes place in our household every time an ad for “Flonase” comes on. About a year ago, when we first saw the “Flonase ad, Toby Joe said, “Flonase? That’s like calling medicine for constipation, ‘Leakbutt’ ” And so it stuck. Now, one of us inevitably starts yelling “Leakbutt! Leakbutt!” every time the ad airs.

    Does it really need to be that literal?

  • http://digitalpixie.blogspot.com/ Pixie

    Hooray for reading! One of my favorite pasttimes as a child….

  • http://maddenvision.typepad.com/maddenroundtheland/ Cathi

    Amberlyn (#314)
    Is defenestrate as in, “Pick a window, ’cause now you’re leavin’?” (Flotsam & Jetsam)

  • http://www.kempland4u.com/images-even-your-mom-would-lik/ Gooooder

    and they will deserve it!

    dont they know they cannot expect the impossible from us. how can we be expected to resist!

  • http://melinkie.blogspot.com Ella


  • http://sque.blogspot.com/ Sque

    W00t! #350!

    Hey is Leta a lefty?!? I’m noticing she’s reaching with her left hand like a natural born lefty always does! I used to be a lefty, but someone didnt WANT ME TO BE A LEFTY, so I’m now a Righty and Lefty. Boo@ control freak parents!

  • Dang cold..

    thats exactly what they’ll say when they hand me my severence package and take away my office pass..”We trusted you, instead you engaged in talk of menstruation and poop on a sight called dooce.com” I’ll give them rectalage in retaliation

  • http://symbioticfishes.blogspot.com Fish

    Is that your cold, dead hand reaching out from amidst the deadly weight of thousands of dute, dimpled plush toys?

  • Julianne…suffering in Halifax

    In my drunken state I forgot to say thank you for saying “Happy Birthday.”‘ You have no idea how much effort that just took to type.

  • http://www.kempland4u.com/images-even-your-mom-would-lik/ Gooooder

    Dooce: For when your employer trusts you are not reading about poop and menstruation during work hours.

  • Christine in Virginia

    Wow — great teacher! …

    I’m first??? unbelieveable..

    endlessly impressed by your insight and candor — thanks, Dooce.

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Susie —
    “There is a vas deferens between the Keeper and the Promise Keeper.”

    Can we get a hearty rimshot?

  • http://www.kempland4u.com/images-even-your-mom-would-lik/ Gooooder

    hey you called me rectalage, dangcold! hrmph.

    i am in the Boston, the land of no superbowl riots (it only took 3 years to get the masses under control and fearing getting shot in the eye and killed), and very dirty salt filled mounds of melting snow!

  • Liz

    Good Morning Heather & Internet!

    Weird! I saw the thumbnail change, but couldn’t see the picture yet.

  • Julianne…suffering in Halifax

    i would gladly open another, sadly, the liquor stores close at 9 in halifax and it is now 10:32.

  • Dang cold..

    I’m with you rectalage I mean goooooder.

  • http://prettycrabby.com Em

    I would be closer to first but this REMEMBER ME? thing never remembers me. How rude.

    I thought the thumbnail was pancakes. I’m confused!

  • Susie

    Open another! It’s your birthday, for cryin’ out loud! Happy Birthday, Julianne.

  • http://www.mycircuslife.blogspot.com Circus Kelli

    Dooce: For When You’re Supposed To Be Working Diligently

  • http://redefining.org di

    awwwww… how sweet

  • http://www.partimer.blogspot.com Carol

    You really miss a lot when you spend the day, uh… doing stuff.

    I live really near Cumming.

  • http://www.mycircuslife.blogspot.com Circus Kelli

    Gooooder: Hey! I only have, like, five hours left… I’d better get busy, too!

    What neck of the woods are you located in?

  • Matt in London


  • Susie

    There is a vas deferens between the Keeper and the Promise Keeper.

    I’ll have a little more wine, please.

  • http://www.kempland4u.com/images-even-your-mom-would-lik/ Gooooder

    Job Listing:


    Must be able to simultaneously read Dooce and do multiple, tedious and monotonous tasks

  • http://www.oipom.com Meggan

    Totally uber-cute! I heart Leta!

  • Julianne…suffering in Halifax

    I’m sorry Susie, I’ve just finished the whole bottle.

  • http://www.kempland4u.com/images-even-your-mom-would-lik/ Gooooder

    well, at this point i must be getting paid to read dooce because i’ve done that more in the past two work days than anything else.

    not my fault im so quick and have the ability to multitask, it was a qualification for the job!

  • http://alliteration.org Liz

    Lovely! A reader! What an intelligent little lady.

  • Julianne…suffering in Halifax

    Dear Dr. Johhny Fever,

    Good luck with keeping the vas deferens.

  • Dang cold…

    I’m going to blurt out “rectalage” in a department meeting today I know it.

    yours truly

    Rectalage..I mean Dang cold…