This is what happens when you tell the dog that no, he can’t come to the grocery store with you and the baby

  • yes I’m blonde

    That should be “murder most fowl”

  • Sque

    W00t! #350 AGAIN!!! I’m on a ROLL I TELL YA!

  • Big Gay Sam

    With a name like “duck” you’d think it would be good at it.

  • Henryk_DTG091638KFEB05

    Cathy milw
    On the other side of the globe (Oz.)…away from the sound of you calling out to your doggie !

  • Pissy Britches

    Chuck, NOT the rubber ducky. Oh god, anything but that!

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    “Everyone knows it’s Win-deeeeeeeee.”

  • kris

    Based on how I’ve seen my dog do it, he probably held the body with his paws and nibbled on the beak. There might be marks on the head or body that we can’t see in the photo. This is like a crime investigation!

  • ensie

    That’s it? That’s all that happens when you say “no” to the dog at your house? You get off easy.

  • Dang cold..

    adam – “murder most foul”


  • linuxgrl

    I just came home from a long day only to find out that Fish’s blog is gone. I’m so sad! I had just fallen hopelessly in love with Tiny E and was looking forward to subjecting my family to many many adorable baby pictures. Whatever will I do? (cries)

  • CanadianAmy

    Yeah we need David Caruso to stand over this duck and say,

    “What we’ve got here, my friends, is one dead duck.”

  • tk

    Ah… the fun of slumber parties – I’d nearly forgotten. Thank God I was never the first one to fall asleep. I’d be slaughtered now though, I fall asleep with company over at my place!

    Oh yeah, you are SO going to Hell…. Hey, I’ll be there too, we can party! Most of my friends will be there as well, so at least we can have a really good time.

  • Pixie

    Poor Chuck!!!!

  • Lavanotes

    well of COURSE that’s what happens.

  • adam

    Murder most foul.

  • Squish

    I haven’t been here in a while(not while I was sober, anyway). Can someone tell me why and when FISH has gone away? Thanks in advance.

  • CanadianAmy

    He does have intelligent eyes, that dog……

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    He got smited.

  • Carol

    My kids destroy toys like that!!

    Fish, I hope you are OK and you know that you will be missed. *sniff* is right!

  • cat

    What the hell is a dood ball?

    Ooooooh, wait: is THAT what you crazy kids are calling it these days?

  • CanadianAmy

    Yeah, the duck looks perfect except for the beak…. Maybe Chuck wrapped the duck’s body first and then secured it in a vise, then got himself a fine blade hacksaw and worked at the beak, then put everything away and positioned the duck on the dining room table just so….

  • LordGoon

    Just thought I ought to tell you that your pal “Windy” is also of more than sufficient hotness to join our little soiree at the Best Western. Any time you fine ladies feel ready, just call out to the Goonster.

  • JulieT

    Poor ducky :-(

  • falimako

    Oh man, when I saw that photo I laughed so hard I spat coffee onto my keyboard! That’s ok though, the coffee tastes like shite because I just got a coffee machine and I can’t work it properly.

  • Susie

    should be Duckibill Lecter. Ducky Crane could defend him. You’re goofy, dang cold. I like that.

  • Danielle – shit

    That was supposed to be

    You know, fee, fi, *fo* (fum)

    going to bed now. giving up.

  • Eric

    Once, we tried to comfort our dog as we left with a sock doll we had named Waldo. When we came home, Waldo’s face had been completely bitten away. Got. The. Message.

  • Danielle – so very tired

    This popped into my head earlier and while it doesn’t fit with the Kovar/Kevlar, Dood balls comments, it is all that is floating around between my ears right now

    Fee, Fi, Fum, faaaaaaaaart
    I smell the blood of a bill-less duck.

  • Dang cold…

    carla beth. thats a good point, a very good point. Heather? Jon? Leta?? Did one of you bite off that beak yourself??? Its okay you can tell us. I promise none of us will call you Duckibal Lecter

  • Carol

    did we ever find out what dood balls are?

  • Sissychong

    For the record, the average person produces 90 gallons of snot per year, so Leta is prolly right on the money

  • Girl.A

    Yeah, Amanda B, I’ve been wondering that too. The Kovar thing.

    Cause I once had a *friends with benefits* relationship with this flashy chick named Mylar.

  • romy

    hehehe :)
    poor chuck!
    and poor duck!

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Is she anything like Kevlar?

  • yes I’m blonde

    Looks like our Fish got reeled in… you made me laugh, Fish, whether you were UPPERCASE GOD or Fish, and will miss your wit and song lyrics!


  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Dang Cold, no lie. I just wish I had kept her on the line longer for a good brow beating.

  • Stu

    Good thing it wasn’t an iDuck!

  • Mrs.Strizzay

    Heather’s real name *is* Dooce.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Mouse, you can come over here and I’ll sneak you a paczki or two today. Should help to make up that body weight that Tiffany and Kevin are determined to keep off your poor little frame.

  • Helen

    How come you have a normal name like Heather, when you have a brother called Ranger, a sister called September, and know someone named Windy Lou? Methinks you may have secretly changed your name by deed poll along the way? C’mon, tell us what your real name is!!…

  • Carla Beth

    How can a dog manage to rip off a tiny beak without puncturing or otherwise marking the duck’s head? Hmmm.

  • Dang cold…

    “File under annoying”

    I hope you’re joking!!! I’m nauseous :S

  • Jenie

    I’m so sad…no more fishes…

  • Amanda B.

    Wait. Hold it. Dooce. Did you really have a Mormon boyfriend named *KOVAR*?

  • Grammarqueen

    I think this calls for a new word: Chucking. As in “the duck was Chucked.” “The toilet paper roll was chucked.”

    We love Chuck!!!! He’s the coolest cutest little brown dog in the world.

  • annakay

    i am another Fish fan who just had to de-lurk to say i will miss you too. when i come here, i feel like i’m sitting with a huge group of friends. there’s always a few of us quiet ones who appreciate what the lively ones have to say. so this is actually a big thank you to everyone.

  • Mouse

    Thas rat Hithir. Shuck noes haw 2 til yew watt hi thenkss abbot thi min wey yew R 2 hem. I bit thar ess a FREE DAGG sin semwar nir yor hos. Pur Shuckk es 1 puletickil presinnir jist lak mi.

    Andd dags woo iet coushis R nat bured. Thiy R viry viry hunnree. Didd yew no thatt menny dag unnirs unly fid thir dag 1-2 caps ef fud evry dey? Thatt es harbil andd sad and nu anemal kin liv lak thatt. I amm thenkin bot eeteen 1 coush mysilf andd I amm nat bured att al. Jest hunnree and viry pessed aff.

  • Dang cold…..

    Lovely southern bells indeed.

    I have to shut my eyes and conjure up images of John Lee Hooker, Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson and everything to do with the Mississippi Delta. Damn I’m glad we still have BB King.

  • Cristin

    … and I can’t resist this one, Heather
    rubber duckie, you’re the one
    you make bathtime lots of fun
    rubber duckie I’m awfully fond of you
    doh doh doh-di-doh

  • cathy milw

    Henryk + lettersandnumbers:

    Other side of the globe from what?