It’s alive!

In the winter we rarely go in or out of the front door because we have no hallway at the front of the house. We always use the back door so that we don’t track mud or snow onto the hardwood floors. Unfortunately, this means that I forget about everything on the porch including these festive Halloween pumpkins. Jon was tasked with disposing of these rotting horrors but not before I could take a picture.

  • sweetney

    at you need to sign up (complete w/credit card info) for their realplayer superpass or some crap… if anyone has a no-strings-attached-type link to a copy of the video segment i’d be most grateful for it.

    fortunately for me, i *did* remember to tivo project runway. otherwise i might have to, you know, SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FACE.

  • Flippy

    Nice! I (heart) Peter Jennings.

    I type with the proper fingers, yet when someone is watching, it’s like I lose any ability to type whatsoever. I wouldn’t even be able to spell “dork”.

  • tIffany

    You have GOT to write in her baby book something like “Milestone! ABC news showed up about an hour after you mastered the shape sorter. Seriously.”

    In fact, when the crew shows up, I’d open the door and say, “Great – she’s right over here!”

    And act like they are there to air a story about Leta putting the circle block in the circle hole. No matter how hard they try to steer the conversation with their off-topic questions about your old job, respond with “Well, I only left the room for a second. I never thought – in that instant –” (choke back tears) “She just did it. All by herself.”

    Then “Can we move the lights over there to her so you can really capture the look on her face? Ooh I know! Have me blurred in the background. She puts the circle in, tight closeup of her face, then switch the focus so that she’s blurry and you can see MY reaction!”

    Sorry, I’m sick in bed and allegedly also pregnant. It’s all very funny to me. Good luck today Heather!

  • Tu

    I beat my computer into submission long enough to record the segment and upload it to my webspace, so here’s the clip:

    I only uploaded the 30-some seconds you were on to save on filesize. It uses Divx for video encoding, MP3 for audio encoding, so download your codecs accordingly.


  • BabyM

    man, hope your bandwidth can handle the hits it is going to get tonight after being on the NATIONAL NEWS!!

    Even though the “story of getting dooced” is three years old, it is becoming more and more relevant. I think it is great that you’re getting so much visibility, since I for one love reading your site every day.

    Maybe a publisher will contact you, try to publish the postings of a blogger…that’d be cool!

  • 01234

    *cheddar cheese dooce*
    Compiled 2/9/2005 5:27:40 PM GMT

    Cheese porn cakes – poptarts (had this one
    Previous Next. Wednesday, 10 November
    I have never eaten some much poutine
    those are some of my – I have never

    just landed on the – My family never
    spread (the stuff in the little glass
    called Chimay off tiny slice after
    1/2 cups cheddar. tomato salsa. – in less

    for personal safety and reckless
    This week’s Cheddar X was
    over this post! the open-mindedness
    1 – 8 large flour tortillas

    into that. If you did, you’d be able to see
    beef jerky. I also got some fat-free


  • closet metro

    Yeah, Kristine you’re a total dooceling, dooceaholic, doocehead.

  • Dang Cold..

    The-Dork-a-Dot door
    The-Dork-a-Dot door
    See you soon at The-Dork-a-dot door

    with Bear, Marigold, Humpty and Dumpty.

    The Dork a roo was here?!?!?! and I missed him again. :(

    I’m losing my mind…

  • Cindy

    I am so proud, Heather. I have this goofier than normal smile on my face just for you :)

  • copy_kitty


    Ante up that FLICKR link, and we’ll snark at ‘em.

    You, on the other hand, deserve a break. Go away (shoo, shoo!) and we’ll handle the bullies.

    Sure, you’re a big girl and can defend yourself. But you’ve had a busy day. There should be a serious jumbotron cocktail in your immediate future.

  • twaci

    when i first started perusing dooce, i was impressed that there were, oh, 29 comments on a regular basis. you’re now cruising toward 430 (!!!), and with a pic of rotting pumpkins. you are a goddess. it’s hard to imagine how many more will join the cult after tonight. i’m sceeeeered.

  • honestyrain

    now seriously, that’s gross. those pumpkins. gross. not saying it wouldn’t happen heere because it so totally could but still. ewww gross.

  • Shannon

    I am glad to see that I am not the only one who has documented a “Rotten Pumpkin Project” Kudos on the TV appearance. I hope you remember the little people, now that you are famous and all… Can’t wait for the “Dooce” action figure!!!

  • http://james jamie

    well this is my first entry ever! I am a huge dooce fan, and have yet to respond. Emagine loosing your viginity to a whale cock, and rotting pumpkins. Thanks Doocelings! DORKS UNITE!!!!!

  • christilee

    The *”Rotting Cinderella Pumkin Thing”* happens to us every year. I would feekl your shame, but our doormat also reads: *GO AWAY*

  • Katy

    I saw the commercial for World News Tonight and thought, Dooce should be on that segment. Then I left the house. I MISSED IT!!! Where can I see video footage???

  • annelise

    you’re not a fucking dork! you’re on the news – weeeeeee. fuck, i don’t get cable. god damn. now who’s the dork?

  • JuJuBee

    Congrats to you Dooce about the news thing!!! Are they going to pay you?!

  • dooce

    nope, Alyssa. that’s all there is. even though they spent well over two and a half hours in my house, with my dog FREAKING OUT.

    i am so tired. and old trolls started posting on FLICKR pictures making totally false claims. i have deleted the comments, but no telling what that woman is saying about me. i babysat three kids under the age of four for four hours today and I am fried. must now watch Project Runway and then die.

  • Scully

    I am interrupting my work out after work to watch ABC World News tonight.

    Oh. My. Gawd.

    You’re such a DORK.

    Way too funny.

  • Graygirl

    Way to go Dooce! Can’t wait for the story, both the one on TV and your post about the experience.

    Can’t tell you how much you brighten my day. (Is this shoving rainbows up your ass????!!!!) You break the monotony of my work day.


  • jess

    Man… I hate negative people…

    And I think the Oprah episode would SO not be about getting fired (that’s SO 2001!) but about how many women Heather has helped. Like seriously folks! I may be a youngin, but I’ve learned so much from Heather that now I feel that much more prepared for marriage+kids. AND Jon gives me hope that there really are amazing men in the world.

    So I think it would be about that. How many lives Heather has changed and helped just from her being her cool, funny, chemically imbalanced self. And she has the cutest kid ever, can we talk about that please?

  • moose

    Metro, I LOVE the Swedish Chef!

  • Amanda B.

    PsychoKitty- Don’t forget dancin’. Cause you know what Dancin’ leads to…

  • rich

    George’s poop in the potty?? George poop in potty, Good George.

  • maryse

    the abc news tonight people didn’t see the rotting pumpkins did they?

    the horror!

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Hey Jenn, I think it is BECAUSE Dooce is in charge of a one year old that the existence of the pumpkins on the front porch slipped her mind. Anyone with a child can attest that there is too much wiping up of snotty noses and cleaning up of broken crayons out of the rug to remember a long-ago snow-buried pumpkin on the front porch. Plus, my 3 1/2 year old would probably find that pumpkin to be a really neat science experiment.

  • lexagirl

    Hey dooce that was pretty cool indeed.

  • closet metro

    I now have the Sweedish Chef in my head, replacing “Bork, Bork, Bork!” with “Dork, Dork, Dork!”

  • Michael

    what kind of horrible parent are you for exposing sweet pure beautiful Leta to that sort of FILTH.

    Ha ha, im kidding.It happened to us one year too– just toss it in the neighbors yard. Thats what we did. :-D

  • sweetney

    hi, pestilent-laden dork here who missed the ABCnewshoedownofdooce… anybody know where i can catch it online?

    like, uhh, duh….

  • muffy

    so when will you be on the tee vee?

  • Gooooder


    Where’s GEORGE!

  • copy_kitty

    Commenting on Comment 195 from Amanda.B:

    700 by midnight tomorrow?! Chiquita, we’re about to hit 700 by midnight TONIGHT.

    Don’t underestimate the power of a dooceling of dorks!

  • LetterB

    Yet another unforseen upside to quitting my job last week: I get to watch dooce type dork in realtime. Woohoo!

  • e

    ABC World News Tonight?!? That’s awesome – congratulations!

  • Alyssa

    I watched it on ABCnews through Realplayer but it was like 2 minutes 3 seconds long…

    There has to be more to it than that….is there?

  • Meggan

    Those pumpkins are revolting.

    Dork dork dork.

  • beck.

    Hey Wendy.

  • Gooooder


    Dooce, what is the record for comments ?

    This is the most I have seen.

  • Aliesha

    ABCNews!!! That is awesome! Too bad it too 3 years for them to find the story, but it’s still cool.

  • Jo

    bet that smells DELICIOUS.

  • k syrah

    Raz – I’ve met Ron Popiel (of Ronco) and yes – HE WEARS HIS OWN “SPRAY ON HAIR”

    Loving SO many of you, and thank you Heather for bringing this trippy-assed forum to life: Fish! Amanda B! Bucky 4 Eyes! Ladybug! The person who mentioned Gerry Blank! So many more that I can’t recall – your commentary makes me smile!

    ….nothing to do with the mescal I’ve been drinking tonight….

    I hardly post – ususally just sit back and laugh my southern California Fried Ass off…

    Been trying to get a last minute airfare to Knoxville (Gran-Gran is hospitalized at 95+) and stopped in the middle of all my frantic fare-finding-fuckery and thought: DAMN! Did I miss the ABC clip? Not three minutes after I flipped, the segment came on. I have TV-ESP. Don’t be jealous! Heather – I caught a bit of your accent – cute!

    Oh – and Libby – you misspelled congratulate – HA!

    (don’t raz on my funky punctuation, y’all!)

    Closing in on 700 comments?!?!

  • Kevin

    Do smash a quote: “Dork it up, fuzzbrain.”

  • Shannon

    I have had a similar picture on my front porch. I finally got my husband to throw ours away. The disgusting, smelly pumpkin fell apart in his hands. What a lovely site it was

  • JuJuBee

    Libby, ever watch Debbie Downer on SNL? Ok, that’s YOU.

  • Starla Dear

    When I said short notice on ABC’s part, I meant to say that it is weird that they are filming today and playing it tonight… Sort of along with what diane was saying.

  • Lin

    I hope Jon wore gloves for the pumpkin-disposal task and didn’t catch any communicable nastiness. :-P

  • Alyssa

    Umm wow.. Can’t tell you how many times that ones happened to me!

    oh and on the ABC thing all I saw was a five minute blurb when I signed up for the 14 day free trial, was there more?? Where can I view more? What did everyone else see?

  • lavonne

    Will someone on the east coast please post a link as soon as it comes on? I suspect that ABC’s website knows which time zone and won’t show the link until 6 pm PST. 3 hours and 31 minutes–not fair.

    p.s. I hope you used your hickiest southern accent.