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JAY WON “PROJECT RUNWAY” ! WOOO! HOOOO! That was Prime Time validation. An Artist winning for being an artist. I AM SO HOOPPPY.

An entry about my dog that includes not one word in all caps

Since Leta’s nap schedule has become less of a schedule and more of a torture regimen, getting Chuck out of the house for walks has become difficult if not impossible. We’ll occasionally get him out to a park and let him run his skinny ass off, but even that happens about only once or twice [...]

A List of Things I Need to Get Done That Probably Won’t Get Done Because I’m a Stressed Out and Overwhelmed Mess of a Flake

1. Clean out the basement of all our collected and useless detritus so that when Heather and Maggie come to visit they don’t flee in horror at being unknowingly lured onto the set of “Sanford and Son.” 2. Pluck my eyebrows, they are scaring the children. 3. Thank Kahli for the “Bite Me” t-shirt she [...]

In the South that would indicate a tornado was a comin’

Jesus wants me for a snowbeam

The very first time I went skiing was when I was a freshman in college. Less than three hours into perhaps one of the most frightening days of my life I hit a small child on a Blue Square incline, and I ended up wrapped up like a mummy on the back of a ski [...]

Butts for Butterflies Campaign

Two frequent commenters on my site, Closet Metro and Amanda B., have masterminded an email onslaught of butt photos demanding that I post a picture of Leta performing something on command: “Here’s the deal – daily pictures of my butt until you post about Leta giving Butterfly Kisses. (Those lashes must be used for good, [...]

The dude with the glasses ripped it on the slopes

Slaves to the outrageous price of formula no more

Last week at the grocery store when I saw that gallons of whole milk were on sale for $2.50 I almost had a heart attack. That’s TWO WHOLE GALLONS for only five bucks. Do you know what this means? DO YOU? Yeah, that’s right. Everybody I have come in contact with since then has been [...]

Moonbeam Lift, Solitude Ski Resort

We got totally sick in the pow

Today we went snowboarding while Leta went to Joseph Smith Training Camp with Grandmommie. I heard she talked during the passing of the sacrament which is somewhat similar to the passing of the gas. I can barely type because my arms are so sore from having to push myself up after falling over. Jon, expert [...]