The camera took this picture by itself, I just stood there

  • Kait

    Oh my god… re: the picking…

    I AM NORMAL! Or er, at least, other people are as equally nuts as I am. Well, there is safety in numbers I guess!

    I’d never cut myself or anything to get a scab, but I just cant leave them alone.

    Pickers Unite!

  • CanadianAmy

    No, my Strizzy. I would wrap you in a big comforter and drive your kid myself.

  • LadyBug

    Well, so much for having a hate-free day.

    *shakes head and exits before the poo-flinging begins again*

  • Circus Kelli

    Nilbo #247: HAHAHAHAHAHA A-cyst-ant! LOL…

  • Strizzf-ingblah

    LIAR!!!! But thanks anyway. hehe

  • Henryk_

    Merdog……I gotta preview before I post!!!!

  • Laurie

    I’m in my last year of law school, but I work at a firm here in DC.

  • CanadianAmy

    Yesterdays pic was cool, eh?

    Did anyone else get what all the caps spelled?

  • boobasis



    It’s not that I agree with the bulk of your statements which Heather so graciously pleathered all over her site [see, Heather's "very secure" about who she is-- that she has to rebuke everyone who disagrees with her by way of transcribing the poster's entire work history and indentity. Just Heather's way of maintaining integrity.], but yeah… that Heather woman [or man] is horrid ain’t she?

    She had made a comment about being gross as Turkish men having nasty pimply backs…kind of as a joke. I, the half Turkish descended biaatch that I am, took offense and basically emailed Heather about her looks being well, gross…just for “hypocrisy’s” sake…that and she really does look like a cross between Madonna and Morrisey.

    Well, she ended up doing the same for me as she did for you. So, Matt, you’re just…tsk tsk… not entitled to your opinion after all…like Heather wasn’t entitled to her’s before she got canned.


  • Torrie

    Niffer, Your site won’t let me comment. I was going to ask if you are on Flickr?
    Click on my name if you would like to see my Flickr page.

  • the niffer

    I have to go shower my stinky-ass self. Don’t start twister without me.

    And if any chocolate is being passed around today, please save some for me. I always come to the party too late and miss out.

  • Henryk_

    Merdod > > :-)

  • Drama Queen

    Nilbo #347, first off, that comment cracked me up. Secondly, oh how true!

    (sorry if this posts twice. My computer’s possesed ya know)

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Niffer — c’mon, whip it out! We wanna see your almost-ass tattoo.

    Susie — Do you think you could manage a Gumby for my left cheek?

  • Kate

    (and, dude, it’s so not cake)

  • Mariposa

    Uhh.. are all of us faithful Dooce readers called Dooce-bags?

    yes, first time poster..)

  • Susie

    I would totally eat that cake.

    I HAVE TWISTER! and I can make balloon animals.

  • Susie

    She wanted to know, how does somebody do that, mom? Ya got me. Ask me where babies come from, ask me where people go when they die, I’m on top of all that. But I do not know how a cute little black kid grows up to be that person on the news every night.

    I think it really is hard for children to believe that he was black.

  • lawbrat

    I have to go to class, but this is so much fun! I wish I had a wireless card to take with me!

  • Strizzf-ingblah

    Can-Amy, would you still hate me if I told that although the baby was asleep I have to take my tired ass out in the FREEZING ARTIC AIR to drop my kid off at school, and I didn’t warm the car up?

  • Susie

    That’s true, Torrie. Having a kid is the best entertainment ever.

  • Drama Queen

    Nilbo #347, first off, that comment cracked me up. Seccndly, oh how true!

  • CanadianAmy

    (CanAmy pours some Mazola in her hand and lubes up.)

  • Torrie

    Susie, that’s awesome. You can’t write stuff that funny.

  • Torrie

    Bucky, here’s a recap:

    We started a “pickers unite” group


    I asked if I could borrow your rolling pin because I need to express my dogs anal sacs.

    Carry on.

  • the niffer

    Don’t forget the A1.

  • Susie

    My 3rd grader came home one day and said, “Mom! Michael Jackson used to be black! We found a book in the library! He was in there! Being black!”

  • Susie

    niffer, I do not pick, but it’s like a train wreck, here, just hard to stop watching!

    You know, in all the A-1 discussions that have gone on here, and the photographic evidence they have spawned, and whatnot, no one has discussed the fact that an A-1 bottle is SQUARE. Wouldn’t, say, a Lea & Perrins bottle be better? You know, square pegs and all? I don’t know the answers, I just ask the questions…

    And I really do gotta go now…

  • Strizzf-ingblah

    That is NOT cake. And if it is that is the nastiest looking cake EVER.

  • Merdog

    Thanks, HenryK_ – did not realize you were from that Great Southern Land. Cheers!

  • that-andrea

    Wicked cool abstract photo! I love that sort of thing. You should let your camera do that more often!

  • CanadianAmy

    But it would only be pseudo hate.
    I could never really hate my 80′s gal.

  • mrtl

    Too funny, Susie! Was an explanation requested?

  • Nilbo

    ““Her people” had his tongue tied around another dog’s penis at the time.”

    You know how sometimes you hear a phrase or a collection of words and you think “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard those words used in quite that order before.”?

    The more time I spend here, the less that happens to me.

  • Susie

    I’m not an artist like you. I can only draw a smiling bunny rabbit and an old-fashioned telephone. Either of those work for ya?

  • kristine


    That is GREAT! being black. hee hee.

  • Kassi

    I like A1 on my French Fries not in my butt.

  • the niffer

    I have a tattoo above my majestic ass. Does that count?

  • lawbrat

    Spurious Plum # 604… Im so with you on that one. By the end of winter, cold just gets on your last nerve.

    Susie #614…OMG too funny

  • lawbrat

    #334…are you a law student or an attorney?

  • CanadianAmy

    i would Strizz.

  • Henryk_

    seannarae, I am glad to hear you enjoyed your stay here. Yes, your marital circumstance may have ‘coloured’ the environment, but we Aussies are generally a easy going lot. But then, when I visited your shores in California, Nevada, I was treated in a mighty neighbourly way. I did come across some less than pleasant members of the population and I am sure that the same may just as easilly happened here. The secret is to look past the nasty and obnoxious and look to the better things that are all around you! Next time, go to the Barossa Valley in South Australia if you want to explore Australia’s wineries, or go west young man and sample the fruit of the wineries of Margaret River over in Western Australia. (So endeth the spiel on the some of the finer things here in oz)

  • Circus Kelli

    Moxie #191: Now THAT’S funny!

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    CanAmy — This won’t be a party until somebody breaks out the Twister and Mazola.

  • kristine

    LOL. I told her to tell them that they should….well, I can’t mention what I told Striz, because popping zits and peeling skin is WAY differnt than bleeding arses.

    I’m going to hell. But at least I will be in non-judgmental company.

  • cat

    Mark Johnson, are you a scary homicidal maniac?

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Susie — I don’t have a tattoo on my majestic ass, but if you’d like to bring a safety pin and some india ink, we can fix that straight away!

  • kristine

    When someone from a christian group (and don’t get me wrong. I loves me some God and Jesus) but when they leave an open-ended question like,
    “What do you think about gay marriages?”
    I CAN GO FOR DAYS with the sarcastic lines.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Okay, I’m back from lunch, and the rolling pin is now available for your dining and dancing pleasure.

    Oh, and for when that A1 bottle is just too ridiculously small to go up your ass and not disappear forever.

  • CanadianAmy

    Yeah B4E is right. We need an All Day Dance Party. With leather pants. And Somebody breaking the Guinness Record for longest ‘twist’.

    And um, orange cake.