Here, kitty kitty!

  • spoonleg

    CHUUUUUUUUUCK! Will you marry me?

  • Dang Cold..

    of course no one’s posting anywhere because blogger sucks big fat elephant dicks.

  • Dawners

    Why are we fighting? Didn’t you get my pie?

  • Susannah

    Thanks Nilbo, that may possibly help. And Closet Metro…that is the one of the exact parts of the song stuck in my head. That and “The guys a gigilo maaaan!”


  • MrsDoF

    It took me a minute of disbelief to realize someone might buy a $^book without first opening the cover, no matter how cute the doggie in the picture. For the rest of it, I totally agree with your assessments, and I love your reference to NeverNever Land.
    In the book Peter Pan, Nana was a dog/babysitter, and the parents quite oblivious to the children’s antics.

  • Susie

    Are there some topics that aren’t allowed to be discussed, per our lovely hostess? I might have missed something…

    DANG! You don’t peepee on a cake, for heaven’s sake! Even if you are dressed up like a CROW and lookin’ good!

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    Susannah —
    Who’s that gigolo on the street
    With his hands in his pockets and his crocodile feet?
    Hangin’ off the curb
    Lookin’ all disturbed
    At the boys from home, they all came runnin’
    They were makin’ noise
    Manhandlin’ toys
    Just the girls on the block with the nasty curls
    Wearin’ padded bras
    Suckin’ beer through straws
    Droppin’ down their drawers
    Where did you get yours, gigolo?

  • KH


  • kristine

    Did I hear someone say, “Suck it” ?

    I wasn’t sure. Might have been “Fuck it”.

    I’m sort of whorish today.

  • Lallaloolly

    What a nose!

  • Amanda B.

    This is not a popularity contest, and there are no “cool kids”. That’s what I like about it. We’re all just a bunch of people havin’ fun together. Why make it into something negative?

  • coskel


  • Kendra at the Lakehead

    Hey…I like Drew!! Come on, we all loved Ever After, right???

    How I adore Cinderella stories..

  • Dang Cold..

    coskel–I understand what your saying but c’mon that isn’t fair. There’s more than meets the eye on this site. Sometimes I say something and rather than comments being made about it, people comment on my site or even email me about it. I’ve learned that some email eachother on a regular basis and have forged a friendship. Just because you don’t get a response to a witty post doesn’t mean that there’s a ‘cool kids’ pecking order. Its not personal. I highly doubt there’s callaboration going on here. BTW I’ve been to your site multiple times and I’m totally cool.

  • mrtl

    426 – kalki – you have put Luke’s ass back in my brain. Another exorcism is needed now, but I think I’ll wait a little while.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Yes, I can agree that adult Drew Barrymore pretty irritating and deserves to have the air sucked out of her by a troll, especially after making movies like “Riding in Cars with Boys”. But little kid Drew Barrymore was so cute, even though she was probably already an alcoholic when she was in that movie Cat’s Eye. It scared the shiznit out of me when I was 6 years old and watched that movie .

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    Here Carl! Here boy! Got some nice rat-poison-marinated skirt steak for ya, buddy! Eat up!

  • kristine

    Walking into WalMart there was a person getting signatures, he asked: “What do you think about making it a law that if a minor gets an abortion the doctor/clinic must BY LAW inform the minor’s parents?”

    I told him I would think about it. I still am.

  • Closet Metro

    Susannah -

    squak…squak…Get Funky!

    (Sorry. I am evil with the earworms.)

  • Tara

    HA! I have a Rottweiler, Max, and my younger sister always says, “You should have named him Carl.” Which previously made no sense to me………

  • annabelle

    Nilbo, I was responding to Colleen from NJ’s post about running into an old friend who’d experienced abortion first-hand. I was able to relate, that’s all as I’ve had an abortion. If this forum is an acceptable one for abstinence/teen sex discussions, I can’t see why abortion is excluded. I am unpolitical- I think it’s clear, however, that a plank in the republican platform is pro-life and that a plank in the democratic platform is pro-choice. Therefore, “the party that supports life” (although not unfortunately when it comes to the death penalty) on this issue is clearly the republican party. And yes, I realize that there are people who affiliate themselves with a certain party and don’t agree with all it espouses- I don’t need a black/white, not everything’s a dichotomy lecture, thank you.
    As for the “lesser of two evils” I am having a difficult time imagining many sets of circumstances which would qualify as more “evil” when choosing to carry out a pregnancy. There are many choices (however unpublicized) for young girls and women who are pregnant.

  • Brandon

    Dogs LOVE IT when you call them Kitty. It ranks right up there with pretending to throw the stick when it’s really hidden behind your back.

  • Henryk_ Fri@1945_Sydney time

    A rotty named Carl…..hmmmmm…doesn’t do much for me! Let me come up and pet it!

  • Dang Cold..

    what happens if you pee-pee on the cake?

  • Nilbo

    I do, however, approve of trolls who suck the air from Drew Barrymore. Just as a general principle.

  • Peter Hentges

    Girl.A.: have you seen Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton? It espouses a theory that sounds like your take on honesty; you might enjoy the read.

  • Nilbo

    Dang … in Canada, it freezes.

  • Nilbo

    Susannah, I feel your pain. Here, try this: “Doe, a deer, a female deer …”

    Does that help?

  • Still Not Kassi

    I never was popular. That’s okay. I can sling crap just like any other monkey…it’s interesting to find out that for the most part…everyone is more interested in the crap.

  • ashik

    Dang, I always thought that that’s what frozen yoghurt was.

  • Katie-be-bored-at-work

    I like to troll asses? Hmmm…

    Trolls (or ass trolls) are people that lurk around dooce’s site and pop out at random times and say nasty things.

    There was also a troll in the movie Cat’s Eye who would come out from inside the wall and suck the air out of Drew Barrymore’s nose. That was scaarrry.

  • coskel

    And for you regulars, over 700 comments is ridiculous. RI. DIC. U. LOUS.

    …you may have a point there – its such a popularity contest here, I’m always amazed at the folks who post perfectly interesting and/or funny things, only to get no interest from the “cool kids”.

    Who knew we were all still in grade school?

  • Susie

    If you pee-pee on a terrorist, then the cockapoos have won…and taken ALL the cake, too!!!!

  • Nilbo

    And Dr. Laura’s Worst Nightmare? Thank you SO much for blessing me with that song reverberating through my head, as it will for the next 12 hours.

  • eco2geek

    My wife’s been sitting here working on her homework, farting all day long. A true Gastric Symphony. She’s probably not even through the first movement yet.


    And why don’t they call a proctologist an assssssstrologist?

    (Re. the abortion debate, no one can expect to change anyone else’s opionion. Possibily the best one can expect, is to be able to sharpen their own arguments by putting them into words.

    My wife’s father used to say, if men had babies, the right to an abortion would be sacrosanct. It may sound trite, but it’s true.)

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    And remember:
    If you kick an ass troll in the pee-pee, then the terrorists have already won.

  • Susannah

    Please help me. I have THE MOST unfortunate song stuck in my head and I don’t know where it came from. Um…(I’m so embarrassed) anyone remember the song “Buffalo Stance” by Neenah Cherry? Yeah…

  • Not Kassi

    Have a wonderful Friday night all…

  • Nilbo

    In all my many years, I’ve yet to hear abortion described as “a good choice” by ANYONE … except, of course, those who oppose abortion and put those words in others’ mouths. Most thinking people realize that abortion is a “lesser-of-two-evils” kind of decision.

    I don’t know that there is a single “party that supports life” – again, another bit of emotionally-laden wordplay. Why don’t we make it easy, and call them “the party that demands 13-year-olds pay with their lives for mistakes, but won’t offer any real solutions” and “the other guys”. Just as valid, as tags go.

    All that said – this began as a discussion of teenage sex and abstinence. If it’s your hobby to argue pro and con abortion, are there not other places to do it?

    Oh, and “sorry for the rant”.

  • Dr. Johnny Fever

    Chuck’s nose is HUGE! Is he Jewish? I’m Jewish and I have a huge nose, too. L’chaim, Chuck. Let’s get together and have some gefilte fish some time. Again, L’chaim.

  • Bucky Four-Eyes

    I’m talkin’ about an embrace your inner cellmate kind of backdoor-rappin’, colon-quakin’, sphincter-shakin’, rectal-rhumba sort of ass lovin’.

    Workin’ on world peace, one unsuspecting pucker at a time…

  • Susie

    Plum, you’re irrecystible; I missed out on the earlier cyst thread, but enjoyed your punniness.

    carson, thanks for the donation reminder.

  • Girl troy

    Hey! You guys up top know that when you post, the number is right there beside your comment, don’t you? You don’t really need to announce it. I’m just sayin’.

  • Henryk_

    :-) )

  • Ann

    Katie Bored at work wasting her boss’s money being on here so much;

    This is what Sue meant. Her comment wasn’t mean it was a call for you all–yes YOU to stop being mean to those who say anything to dooce. It’s not you they’re addressing; your name or money isn’t running this blog. Take care of mean or snotty comments on your blog. You guys are terrorist–plain and simple.

  • Nilbo

    Well, Mouse, some people thought it was scandalous that Chuck was licking that one dog. In that one place.

    As for a picture of Chuck with one cat … THAT would be sick and scary.

  • Not Kassi

    Morally Bankrupt: I wasn’t trying to solve the great debate, I just figured my story was just as pertinent as yours…or is only one side allowed?

  • ashik

    Susie: that’s a great exercise. kids don’t think about their actions consequences as lasting longer than being punished or not.

    Maggie: unfortunately, though I was at time working two jobs and taking college classes along with AP and other highschool stuff – I still managed to think about romps in the hay, though I don’t consider it being a pushover, just making a wrong decision. No matter what else is going on with one’s life, those pressures are still there and require a different part of decisionmaking to deal with effectively..

  • Anita

    I don’t know either, but I suspect he works in “the business” in Los Angeles. I found someone with his name who worked with children’s talent. And if it’s the same person, he took a new position in 2004. Not sure though….

    I just want to hear that he cried uncle and apologized to Dooce. Or that he’s in trouble with his company, the sexist git.

  • Mamaramma

    Just got here – but wanted to say the the Good dog carl books have made me pee my pants before. I get them for all my friends having babies because they should see how responsible dogs really are, especially Mouse.