Our plum tree in bloom



  • Muffy

    Has anyone here ever heard of Dr. Dirty John Valby? I think you would all get a kick out of him. If he comes to your town (mostly east coast) BUY TICKETS. Go See Him. And tell him Muffy said Hi!

  • http://www.snickrsnack.blogspot.com Katie-be-bored-at-work

    Nope, not me. Your logic makes a lot of sense, Natalia. I will try it out. I have actually tried it before but they kept coming, but you are right, at some point, the retaliation does start.

  • Muffy

    Hint: If Astro-GLide or KY arent readily available, good old Aloe Vera gel works nicely. Perfect for the wake-n-shake, when he’s ready, but I’m not.

  • Vaida

    Well, anytime you guys come to RI, we should go out for a drink. We can point & laugh at random things together.

  • Berta

    That’s right, Katie! I still don’t understand de-flowered???

  • MichelleC

    I think toys are fun. As long as the man is not intimidated. Sometimes they help the mood. My husband likes to watch.

  • http://www.iprettymuchhateeverything.blogspot.com Torrie

    I think I should host the first anual doocelings festival.

    All in favor?

  • http://www.snickrsnack.blogspot.com Katie-be-bored-at-work

    She means, like, you know… to have your cherry popped. And, you know, in Utah, they are all about not popping cherries.

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    Bucky, that is a very keen observation, #297. That particular preference cannot be blamed on porn, as you so eloquently point out.

    OK, I have to know a lot of things for my work that I don’t necessarily need to know at home; help me out, here — what is a vibrating tongue bar?

  • Cheryl

    Torrie- I just talked to the station, they are just going to re-contest the tickets. I tried. I wish I was wearing a halo! I really wanted the tickets so that I could get my ex to come and “see” me. He couldn’t go- maybe I should read “He’s just not that into you” one more time.

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    Bucky: plummer’s crack! HA!

  • http://reformedstrippersanon.blogspot.com JessicaRabbit

    Bucky, I have been a spokesperson for a few things, but this one will be new for me. Hopefully I can live up to your high expectations.

    I heard you a real slave driver to work for.

  • http://www.snickrsnack.blogspot.com Katie-be-bored-at-work

    That sounds like fun, Vaida! What part of Prov do you live in? I don’t know the city too well, really. Just Centredale. It is a tiny little town but it has so much character.

  • http://ladybug4791.tripod.com/ladybug/ LadyBug

    naralius: Being de-flowered is a euphemism for losing one’s virginity.

  • http://annejelynn.blogspot.com/ Annejelynn

    Wet gets a lil’ weird feeling after lots of friction – I’m tellin’ ya, Astroglide ‘alllll the way’ now

  • http://www.iprettymuchhateeverything.blogspot.com Torrie

    Cheryl, you are soooo sweet.
    Thanks for trying.

  • laurellz

    WHEWT im in the top 100. lolz

  • http://reformedstrippersanon.blogspot.com JessicaRabbit

    Well my tongue is pierced, so I have a barbell I can put in it that has soft silicon nubbies all over the top ot it, about the size of a multi vitamin pill, and it has a flat battery that screws on under the tongue, then, well, bzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • Cheryl

    I’m in favor Torrie!

  • Muffy

    Thanks for the explain, Katie. I guess it’s a little early for my rapier wit. I should just stick to poop talk and peeps and forego the double entendres (sp?)

  • MichelleC

    How could such a lovely picture of nature’s beauty spawn a conversation of monkey vagina and tongue bars?
    :)

  • Muffy

    Torrie,I would SO be there. And I would take write everything off as a “Work Related Expense”. Im at work. Im on dooce. Do you have a problem with that, Mr.IRS Auditor?

  • smokeyJoe

    but could you get her backed into a corner?

    you’re still not working. not even at RMK.

  • Annabelle

    Annejelynne, but can I buy astroglide at the grocery store? ‘Cause I don’t frequent sex shops.

  • Vaida

    I’ll go to the festival.
    I’ll bring cheese & crackers.
    Oh, and because I’m from RI…I’ll bring a big jug of “cawfee” syrup too!

  • naralius

    LOL i get it.

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    Annejelynn, I second your endorsement, after having obtained that particular product on YOUR recommendation, right here at dooce.com. And I did give you all the credit. Most of the credit. Some.

  • http://www.snickrsnack.blogspot.com Katie-be-bored-at-work

    I’m in favor, too Torrie. My sister lives in NYC so I could kill two birds with one stone. See sis, party with the Doocelings. Woo!

  • http://groups-beta.google.com/group/dooce/browse_thread/thread/e7113bd7f821c3d2/9ccf7f6c8a8d6024#9ccf7f6c8a8d6024 RazDreams

    crazy suggestion: how ’bout we let _*dooce*_ handle the people she deems to be a problem on her public internet site, and the rest of us just comment about the picture and other fun, light-hearted topics?

    it’s a public site. All Are Welcomed. she’ll handle those comments she doesn’t like. she a big girl like that.

    peace.

  • http://reformedstrippersanon.blogspot.com JessicaRabbit

    They have astro glide at walmart even, its everywhere

  • http://lawbrat.com lawbrat

    I’d go too. Way too much fun!

  • Berta

    Oh, I see. You have to excuse me, I’m a little slow and hung over this morning..hehe!

  • http://kassipinkdot.blogspot.com/ Kassi

    you can buy astroglide at Target and Meijer…not that I would know. :)

  • Vaida

    Katie: I live in the same part your parents are from. I generalized it because I didn’t think anyone knew the area!!

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ I’m to sexy for my Strizz

    Ok, does anyone else thing jizz (even faintly) smells like bleach?

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    Yes, Target, wherever.

  • http://www.iprettymuchhateeverything.blogspot.com Torrie

    The funny part is…
    I’m serious.
    I totally want to do it.

  • http://www.twistedlifeofmine.blogspot.com southern fried girl

    Hey y’all…

    Just wanted to share that despite my not so great eating the last two weeks, I still dropped weight. And I have PMS. I am a happy, somewhat smaller girl. :)

  • http://bucky4eyes.blogspot.com Bucky Four-Eyes

    Yes, ask anyone, they’ll tell you I’m a real cunt to work for.

  • Muffy

    Vaida, Ill come with a yeast infection. We can have a “whine and cheese” party

  • http://thefathousewife.blogspot.com/ I’m to sexy for my Strizz

    Like I’ll use my husbands towel and well I smell it, I am not sure if it is clean freshness or seminal discard.

  • http://uhohnowlook.blogspot.com Susie

    Thank you, Jess, I get the picture. Bzzzz, you say…hmmm.

  • reader

    I think Dooce should start shutting down and reopening the comments section at random times during the day, just to fuck with the people who post on here nonstop. I can see it now, self-proclaimed “doocelings” hitting refresh over and over again, hoping against hope that comments will be opened, like rats in a lab.

  • Berta

    Exactly, like bleach!!

  • http://harlowandtheboys.blogspot.com/ greenthumb

    Mistress Bucky…I’m ready for my lesson now.

  • Vaida

    I threw up a little bit when I read that Muff.

  • http://www.snickrsnack.blogspot.com Katie-be-bored-at-work

    I wish it smelled like bleach. Then I wouldn’t have to wash my sheets.

  • http://reformedstrippersanon.blogspot.com JessicaRabbit

    Bucky, oooo you said the c word. I love the c word. I could say it all day long, sometimes I do.

  • http://jenieb.blospot.com Jenie

    Awww….I just looked at the link that song put up…I think I was that girl. And I was first!! I just had to go back and comment on it and I said I was only kidding!! So..so…suck it!! Ok…sorry. Done venting now.

  • http://reformedstrippersanon.blogspot.com JessicaRabbit

    Bucky, I have a sick kitty.