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Overheard after a long day of Leta skipping naps and biting the heads off of bats

“Tonight we’re going to read How do Dinosaurs Count to Ten? Guess what. They don’t. Why? Because: 1) Dinosaurs don’t count 2) They’re all dead. Go to bed.”

The equivalent of an orgasm to a dog with no balls

At long last the season has arrived for Chuck to lie in the middle of the yard as far away as possible from any shade to roast himself to death.

This town needs an enema

Recently some of the plumbing issues in this house have been reversed and instead of hearing me yell from the restroom, “JUST GO AWAY. GO. AWAY.” it’s been Jon who’s been trapped in the stall moaning, “NOT GOOD. THIS IS NOT GOOD. NOT. GOOD.” At first we thought we might have eaten a bad avocado, [...]

Two very cute and very worth it Tax Deductions

Apparently he was also a speed reader in grade school. SPEED. READER.

“How do you like the book you’re reading?” “It’s okay. It reads like it’s just begging to be turned into a movie.” “I used to feel that way about Robert Ludlum books. During the 70′s I used to read them — ” “Wait, wait wait. You did not read Robert Ludlum novels in the 70′s. [...]

Oh, Elise

There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold

When I was about 14 or 15 I attended a Church Fireside meeting about rock-n-roll music. Fireside meetings were special monthly meetings for youth usually held at someone’s home (by the fireside, natch) about topics ranging from how to stifle all sexual awareness until one was married to how the wine that Jesus drank was [...]

Enjoying more than you’ll ever know

Just imagine her boobs at the end of her third trimester. I really, REALLY hope she blogs her whole experience. And opens up comments.

Too tired to continue crawling

She’d been crawling around with a carrot in her hand for over a half hour and finally she just stopped, fell flat on the floor and began nibbling on it. (Jon took this photo. You should see the whole series.)

Off to Lola’s double-wide we go

Click on the photo to see a series of shots we took throughout the Salt Lake Valley while trekking to the land of the double-wides. If you listen closely you can hear both of us grumbling about how we had to pay a babysitter to go see family when the whole point of living near [...]