We’re leaving for Vancouver in a couple hours and just found out that we’re going to have access to premium broadband Internet (as opposed to generic broadband). You know what this means, don’t you? Real-time pictures of us drunkenly jumping up and down on the beds in the hotel room in our underwear while listening to Celine Dion and shouting, “Aboot! Aboot!” Because, isn’t that what you do when you go to Canada? I thought so.
I dropped Leta off at Jon’s mother’s house a little while ago, which means her Sales and World Domination Training is over and now it’s time for Let’s Learn About Our Polygamist Ancestors Workshop. Leta took one look at all the toys in Grandma’s basement and forgot that she ever shot out my crotch. I went to give her a hug and she pushed me out of the way. I was blocking her view of the Barbie Corvette.
I just want to point out that tomorrow when I’m sitting there on that panel at VIDFEST I’m going to have my website on a screen behind me and the words SHOT OUT MY CROTCH are going to be flashed up on the wall. I wonder just how much I could get away with? Can I say wolf dick? How about pumpkins full of owl shit? How do you say FUCK in Canadian?