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The point at which all phone conversations resemble a drop in cell phone coverage

This morning I called my sister to see if she had received a frantic call from our father warning us that the taxes we pay on our various telephone and cable bills would usher us into an early grave (my answer to him, “If I die early it won’t matter because while I was alive [...]

Thinking

The packaging for child-proof door locks to put on medicine and cleaning supply cabinets should come with a warning that says: If you are unable to figure out how to operate this lock just hand it to your 18-month-old and she will show you.

Too many to count