I didn’t go to college for nothing
“She totally just lipsanc that.” “Lipsanc?” “Lipsanc.” “Explain that to me.” “Today you lipsync, yesterday you lipsanc, and prior to that you done have lipsunc.”
You can’t pick your Mama
Just now I asked Leta to show me where her ears are and she pointed to her forehead. I said, no, your EARS, and she laughed and then grabbed both her ears as if she was seeing whether or not I was paying attention. We went through the eyes and then the nose, and then [...]
Another reason to be proud of public education
Tonight Jon indulged me and instead of having to throw yet another frozen Costco dinner into the oven we drove to Noodles and Co. to secure an edible meal. When people ask me if I cook I say, yes, I do, but someone else does all the prep work for me. I wanted to order [...]
Six times the suck
This past weekend I discovered a fail-safe method of making myself feel like an astounding idiot, more fail-safe than that time my mother-in-law told me that she saw someone in church with shoulders just like mine, you know, so wide that they blocked her view of the pulpit. I didn’t even have to leave my [...]
How to Charm Me
When I walk into the bathroom to straighten out my hair look up and say, “I know I’m shitting, but I still think you’re beautiful.”
