About two months ago my father moved to Utah from Tennessee because all of his grandchildren were growing up without him including his granddaughter, Leta, who more than any of the others exhibits his blustery exasperation toward the injustices of life like taxes and having to wear shoes outside. My sister and I were worried [...]
Take 10 steps all by yourself and then refrain from freaking out when both your father and I lose our shit. October 11, 2005: Leta takes her first unassisted steps.
There is a long-standing argument in our home about whether the word crayon is pronounced cray-on or crown and what happens to baby kittens when one of us pronounces it the wrong way (they die, the baby kittens). Last night while I was preparing dinner (burritos manufactured by the lovely people who stock the frozen [...]
“You havenâ€™t seen The Piano?” “No, I havenâ€™t.” “Then you totally missed Harvey Keitelâ€™s nutsac and penis.” “Sex scene?” “Actually, heâ€™s cleaning his piano when you see them.” “Makes sense. Iâ€™m always naked when I clean my piano.”
She is going to kill me for publishing this picture especially since it’s the Sabbath and I should be resting.