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Scrumptious Almost Bearded Drunk Girl

While pulling out our winter clothes we found this hat sent to Leta from Chickenflicken. Seems to look better on Jon.

With 7 vitamins and minerals

“She only wants to eat the marshmallows out of the Franken Berry.” “I know, but the marshmallows aren’t much worse than the Franken Berry itself.” “I don’t care about it being worse, it’s just a pain having to sift out the marshmallows. Didn’t they make a cereal with all marshmallows? That would be so much [...]

It runs away through my clutching hands

You can’t always get what you want

I put tin foil in Leta’s windows when she turned four months old to keep the aliens out. Something kept waking her up every two hours and I figured it was either the ambient light or the aliens, and I knew that tin foil would take care of both. During the winter it also kept [...]

This makes me so happy inside

Love is…

Allowing your significant other to go ahead and pee while you’re brushing your teeth even after he’s had a huge serving of asparagus. Actually, no. No. You know what that is? That’s just dumb.

Enjoying

A woman’s work is never done. Meow. Name that poop. Chuck, pay attention. This is a real dog. Love is… All this photo needs is some spaghetti. Best photo ever.

The consequences of living online

“Do you get the feeling now that certain people are going to be judging every move we make? That we’re not going to be able to take a shit without them wondering how much money we spent doing so?” “You better not mention that we’ve upgraded to the Double Roll.” “The ULTRA Double Roll.” “With [...]

Moments before we arrived at Costco and she deafened a parking lot of patrons with The Demon Death Howl

Stop