Because I’m trying to make the world a better place
It should be noted that not once during the entire two-week span of the Olympics did I spew my hatred for Bob Costas on this website (like I once did here and here and, um, here and over here). This gesture falls under one of my New Year’s Resolutions to try and put out good [...]
Celebrating Five Years of Public Stupidity, The Post
Today is the fifth birthday of this website. The very first post I wrote which has since been removed along with almost a half a year of posts ended with this poem: Carnation milk is the best in the land; Here I sit with a can in my hand. No tits to pull, no hay [...]
The dooce.com Comment Policy, or Where I Tell the Trolls to Suck It
The first thing you should know about this comment policy is that it is subject to change at any time, for any reason or for no reason at all, just because I said so. You will notice that this is a recurring theme throughout this policy. By leaving a comment on this website you acknowledge [...]
The Third Commandment
Yesterday afternoon while waiting for the nurse to come in and administer Leta’s Hepatitis A vaccination Leta entertained us by reading aloud several books she had pilfered from the waiting room. One was a book about a family of bears, and when she turned to the first page she took a deep breath, let out [...]
Jaapy Jaapy, Joy Joy
On our final night in Amsterdam we had the immeasurable pleasure of meeting up with the one and only Jaap van der Molen at his house in the city. This is a picture of Jaap at dinner right before he told us that Scarlett Johansson wouldn’t be on his List of Five because her boobs [...]


