• http://www.jrschutzy.typepad.com Jennifer Schutz

    Major props to you for being able to laugh at all those hatemails. Rediculous as they are, I think it would get to me after awhile.

    What I have to wonder is, if they hate you so much, why are they still reading your website and being offended? You have freedom of speech, and we have freedom of the mouse-click. If a website offends you, don’t click on it. If you accidentally stumble onto a website that offends you, welcome to the internet. If you can’t take the heat, get off the web.

    I’d be proud to stand next to someone like you on Judgement Day. Although I doubt there will be anything as cool as trapdoors to hell.

  • Mersaydz

    Those people are crazy….and I’m sure they really think their idiotic comments make a difference…LOSERS!

    I just have to say that your website it one of the funniest things I have ever read…I really look forward to each and every one of your post.

    Rock on Heather!

  • PitPat

    Huh. And I thought I was weird for sending you and Jon advice about Chuck’s anal glands.

    Ads? What ads…? Oh those things on the side that you can easily ignore (though you could also click through and show a lil love) while being entertained and enchanted by stories big and small and delightful photographs? Um, yeahhhh….

    Well, gosh, all I can do is devote a long Bronx cheer to the haters and a toss a hearty dose of love to you, Jon, Leta, GEORGE!, your whole family, the bee-you-tiful state of Utah…

  • http://www.dustyclodfelter.blogspot.com Melanie

    Dang! That was VICIOUS! I’m a Republican, and I’m not even that mean! Heather, I’m prayin’ for ya! (you know you want me to)

  • Hope

    Make money while being a stay at home mom? HORRORS!

    If people don’t like your blog I am perplexed at why they would read it? It’s not like you’re forcing your blog onto computer screens across the world…

    I think you’re brilliant.

  • http://www.sweetney.com sweetney

    this crap is the MAIN drawback, near as i can tell. and i need to pick your brain more about handling it without losing my mind. well, losing my mind COMPLETELY.

  • Snigelfutz

    I just wanted to tell you that no matter what some limp nuts loser says, you have a beautiful daughter and you do an awesome job on your blog. For the haters who have a problem with you making money from the ads, they are probably just jealous losers. I think it is wonderful that you can make money doing this, you totally deserve it! For the crazies that post the things about your daughter, your parenting, your writing, and your husbands writing, etc… You have reminded me why most people think Americans are hateful bigoted losers! Be happy for someones sucess! Heather and Jon you seem like wonderful parents, keep up the good work!

  • annejumps

    I can’t believe people take the time to email you this crap, especially with this bossy, imperious tone they all seem to have. Jeez.

  • Flambo

    Heather, all I can say is, …I love your site. It has helped me cope with my PPD, so in a sense you have been more than just entertainment – you’re like online therapy! And you don’t even charge by the hour!

    So thanks for keeping it all going, even in spite of these assholes!

  • jessikast

    I’ve just finished reading through your archives, and I can’t believe that anyone who’s read any of your blog would send hatemail to you and not realise they’re likely to be severely mocked!

    I wanted to say that I’ve very much enjoyed reading your blog – your ability to make the ridiculous hilarious is wonderful, and I love your approach to motherhood and dog-ownership: a combination of fierce love and the kind of matter-of-factness which recognises that, yes, sometimes dogs (and kids) do silly things, and it’s okay to laugh, and laugh, and laugh at them. :-)

    I want to be a dog-owner like you when I grow up. :-P

  • Jenna

    Hey Heather,
    You rock my world.

    In the morning I check your site out for new posts while my boyfriend is sleeping (I’m totally falling through the trap door for living in sin…) and sometimes I laugh so hard that I wake him up, and I’m not a laugh-out-louder.

    You’re flipping funny and your whole family is fabulous too… Including Chuck of course.

  • http://myskepsi.tripod.com Amy

    Someone has probably already mentioned this (I must admit lack of time to read all 4 billion comments)…

    But you should TOTALLY put all these emails in a book. I’d buy a copy. It would make a great coffee table or bathroom book!

  • skippy

    What a bunch of bitches! I heart dooce.com!

  • Tarin

    Warms my heart to see everyone wants you to know how many more lovers there are than haters. It’s got to be hard to get that crap from people, even if you do handle it well.

  • MeAhna

    And. I must say that I admire the way you handle those trolls. I would flip the hell out. If they hate your shit so much, why do they come back? (It’s your flippin page, you could post your sexual picture if you wanted. BTW-I am sure we all want to see it….-tee hee hee half kidding)I gotta say though, you are pretty interesting. You know you kick ass when people you dont even know talk shit about you. (I am also looking forward to the goat balls-good times)

  • AmyFrances

    Two words – FUCK THEM.

  • mehrunissa

    I’m usually too lazy to comment on anybody’s blogs, but dude…I love people like that, because it makes me feel SO good about myself. I mean, seriously, how can they not boost your ego? If there are fools like that in the world, and you’re not one of them, life is good.

  • Jessica

    I SOOOOOO support the monthly hate newsletter. Just think, it would guarantee hundreds of supporting comments to replace those hilarious bitch posts!

  • MeAhna

    And. I must say that I admire the way you handle those trolls. I would flip the hell out. If they hate your shit so much, why do they come back? (It’s your flippin page, you could post your sexual picture if you wanted. BTW-I am sure we all want to see it….-tee hee hee half kidding)I gotta say though, you are pretty interesting. You know you kick ass when people you dont even know talk shit about you. (I am also looking forward to the goat balls-good times)

  • nukediver

    I too confess to being a lurker, but no more. The level of idiocy in the world nowadays demands that those of us who still have a sense of humor use it for good (exclamation point). Put me in the line of folks wanting to be your email answerer – I think that would be a great way to let off some steam.

    Also, as a long-time resident of the Island of FagLesbian, I welcome you to our beautiful home anytime you wish :-) My only regret is that now that everyone on the site knows about us, it’s going to get crowded, real estate will skyrocket, gridlock will be the norm. Sigh…..

  • agog

    I’ve been to the Island of FagLesbian. Best.Party.Ever.

    to The people who are so bothered by the ads. I guess it really is hard to FOCUS ON THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKIN’ PAGE! Idiots. They’re just jealous that they are on the 9-5 chaingang…

    PS If you use the Sweaty Goat Balls as a header, you totally HAVE to find a picture…

  • dawnl13

    Who told these morons that they have to read your site anyhow? Some people have nothing better to do than try and make everyone else as miserable as they are. Don’t let the haters get to you.. they WISH they could be as great as you!
    I look forward to reading your site… especially those great monthly letters to your beautiful daughter! I don’t know you, but through those letters I can see that you love Leta to the moon and back!

    Keep up the great writing!

  • http://www.amie.infiniteregress.org Amie Smith

    I think you should hold a contest for your readers with winners getting a vacation with you to the Island of FagLesbian. We will all submit creative photos or postcards containing the words “I hate Dooce Club.” Extra bonus points if the photo contains pets wrapped in lead or anybody with “scary” hair ala Leta.

  • http://www.eliasland.blogspot.com jdillisch

    I totally laughed my ass (oops! am I allowed to say that? I hope that doesn’t land me on top of one of those pesky trap doors…) off. I love the, “I liked you when nobody knew you, but now that you’re famous, you suck” feel of most of those emails. I think you should post those emails more often…and I have to say, you were VERY nice to not post their email addresses…

  • Thierry

    Hi Heather,

    After being this total lurker for months…

    Those comments, good or bad, are but just a reflection of human nature. It is far too easy to be judgemental about anything and everything because it means you can take your attention away from the most important. Judging oneself is always the hard bit so turning your attention to others is a good escape. At least you don’t have to watch yourself.

    All these criticisms, hate-mail etc, well they may well be a way to exorcise their own demons – who knows?

    Life as I see it is just trying to do the best you can. You make errors along the way, you will fail on some things and achieve greatness on others. The courage is in the trying.

    I am actually a big fan of yours and Jon and in awe at your courage to get public with your private life. I myself could not be so open.

    These comments, at least this is the way I see it, just show that whatever motivation you have is actually working out because it means your voice is heard – and gosh, the reply level is high!

    For whatever it’s worth I just hope that I will be this caring and loving for my family. In the meantime, I will religiously check my rss feed for more of the Armstrongs goodness that makes me think the tough, hard reality of life and a certain sense of humour are still a component of humanity.

    Smooth sailing!

  • McDonie

    I’ve been a reader of both you and your husband’s website for just over a year. I’m absolutely floored. I can’t believe people actually write such hurtful things. I enjoy both sites thoroughly. Keep on keepin on.

  • http://www.doubledutydiary.blogspot.com KarinGal

    Those who can write, do.

    And those who can’t, write doo doo.

    These folks just wish they had an ounce of your doociness.

  • http://vanilj.wordpress.com/ Ida (Swede in Quebec)

    I don’t even know what to write… I doubt that you’d read the 482:d comment.

    But Heather, I absolutely adore you and dooce.com. It’s the first site I visit every day and it’s the only where I find myself laughing (more like giggling) out loud as I read. I adore, adore, adore you.

    I’m part of a quite big web-community in Sweden (this might sound strange if I don’t add that I am Swedish) and I often notice the same kind of web-climate there. It’s as if people don’t think twice before sending a comment or an e-mail to a “stranger”, when they would never, ever say it to that person’s face. As if it’s easier and safer when you’re hiding behind a keyboard.

    Heather, you are absolutely amazing. And if you’re reading 500 comments, that shows that you care about the feedback you get. Love from an Ida in Quebec

  • SurprisingWoman

    One more comment, damn I wish I was still single. That Mahir looks like quite the catch. Yummm..


  • Amy W

    Thanks for sharing those – what an insight into the crazies!

    Also – I love how you style Leta’s hair! My 2-year old won’t let me touch her hair. So jealous.

  • http://serenitysprings.blogspot.com/ Holly L

    First of all, people are stupid. I look forward DAILY to reading dooce and I’ve been going back through the archives because seriously, I just can’t get enough. My boyfriend has accused me of becoming a stalker.

    Secondly, I had to write a paper for college on abortion and got called a baby killer by tons of people via email because I talked about it on my blog.

    When they called me that I just placed this picture on my blog in response:


    Or maybe it had nothing to do with the paper and just the fact that I confessed to killing hundreds of babies all over America.

    Who can say?

  • napangel

    PUH-LEASE! Who ARE these people?!?!

    And, really … how cluttered is your site? Not THAT cluttered! I’ve never had to WADE through it … I just scroll down. It ain’t that hard.

    And some people actually criticize your parenting and question your love for Leta? How obtuse are they? I thought it was obvious to everyone how much you love Leta and what good parents you and Jon are.

    I love that you can laugh at these people, Heather. You are a true gem.

  • http://lucysdilemma.blogspot.com Lucy

    A friend pointed me to your site about a year ago and I read you daily. I think your writing is great, hilarious and from the heart. Fuck the haters (and the Mormons).

    Oh, and when you go to the Island of FagLesbian, can I come too? :)

  • http://nonpromqueen.com Stacey


    Sorry. I wanted to see how it felt.

  • tastelikepink

    Heather I love your website! I always share the stories from here with my boyfriend and he loves it too!!! I think all these people that are complaining should just not look at your site….this is your personal blog and you can talk about whatever you desire. Screw them!! I still love your site and I think you and your husband and your daughter are awesome!!

  • AnneA.

    Wow, Heather. Just…wow. Who knew that there were so many folks out there who have so much time to spend hating on such silly stuff? Gah.
    And I have to add, the entry yesterday about re-discovering music? Damn if I wasn’t all over I-Tunes and Blurbomat downloading like a wacky teenager after I read it! 38 years old and feeling 17 again… thanks! You made my day!
    Love, Anne

  • Charles

    I’m a lurker – I’ve never commented before. But when I read this bit, I had to:

    “The trap door to hell will open and I might fall in with you.”

    First, yes! That makes it so much simpler, I always wondered how I was going to end up there, but now that I am aware of the trap door, my life feels so much more complete. I always thought I would have to arrange for cab fare, etc. (is there a trapdoor for the FagLesbian Island too? That would make life a cake walk [Exclamation Point. Exclamation Point.])

    As for your ads: Girl, your content is so fabulous that the ads almost disappear. (Of course I click on a couple every now and then just to do my part for your revenue [Exclamation Point])

    Thanks Heather! I couldn’t live without multiple daily dooceings.

  • http://www.thatsinappropriate.com Kate N

    Every time you write something that ticks off one crazy, you win over three reasonable people. Keep it up!

  • http://wealhtheow.diaryland.com wealhtheow

    OK, there are now no limits to the amount of love I have for GEORGE!

    Also, I think I’d be totally down with a church that eschews a belief in trapdoors. Trapdoors! What the hell do we need them for anyhow?

  • Jennifer T

    First time commenter, and I have to say that even though I don’t share the same religiouse and political views with you, I still know what’s funny. I have found that liberals are a lot funnier than conservitavs, and even conseritaves need to laugh. (And most of people are terrible spellers). Its your life, not mine, and thanks for sharing it.

  • http://www.morechickenandtuna.net Adrienne

    Ok, so when do we get to see your sexual picture? And will you incorporate the lead-filled christmas lights in to said picture?

    Funny stuff! I don’t know how I would deal with hate mail, myself.

  • chengster

    I don’t know what everyone’s problems with the ads are. I mean, it’s not like they’re causing pop-ups are playing insane frog tunes or anything. So place your hand over half the computer screen, or your field of vision, or you could just avert your gaze slightly and focus on the middle column, the way most of us do.

  • vermontchickie

    Even though I’m pretty much repeating what everyone else has said, I’m gonna say it anyway. Why on earth would people waste their time writing to you to tell you what they dislike about you? It’s so lame. I really don’t get why they can’t just stop reading your blog if they hate it so much.

    I’ve been reading your stuff for a little over a year now, and I love it. You’ve got a great sense of humor and are obviously very intelligent. I was raised in a really strict church, so I can relate to (and laugh about) your feelings on religion.

    The bottom line: You are awesome, and those haters are just a bunch of douchebags.

  • http://www.holdyourtongue.org seven

    It’s amazing how many people in their hate letters referred to this as a “personal site”, yet they think you should go around catering to your readers. It’s called a personal site for a reason dipshits, she can say whatever the hell she wants.

    Oh, and going through the comments I’ve come up with a new drinking game: anytime someone refers to you as “dooce” I’m taking a shot.

  • Friday

    Oh dear. Did the Second Coming happen already or what? I was kind of hoping to say goodbye to those suited, kindly men who sometimes ring my doorbell on Saturday morning. Heather, you are a fortress (full of sweaty goat balls, mmmmm). Keep rocking it out controversial-like.

  • CommonSense

    As a FagLesbian and Man-Hating Psycho Lesbian Jealous Feminist, I find this to be one of the funniest things I have read in quite some time. That’s HOT. I will now commence self-reference of the term FagLesbian. Thank you, Dooce-hater Walter G.

  • JenC

    I’ll also de-lurk just to say thank you for the laugh. I count on you for my daily afternoon pick-me-up.

    Getting hate mail just sucks, especially when they jab at your family (who on earth could even think that Leta isn’t just the cutest little kid on the planet???). But your attitude about it rocks.

    Thanks for just being you!

  • AngelaLM

    Sweaty goat balls indeed. You should so totally trademark that.
    What a bunch of fucking freaks. Especially the book girl. I predict she will end up on the Island of Faglesbian – until they kick her and her book-writing uncle off! (exclamation point).

  • http://www.islandshan.blogspot.com shanco

    Dooce–just a positive word to go with all the negativity. I really enjoy your website and have for awhile now. You write honest and good stories about everyday life. While the ads can be a bit over powering at times…I understand that this is your job and you need to make food for Leta not to eat. Plus, who ever thought I would visit a website for the Footballers Wives show? Kudos for you and your family putting yourseves out there for our entertainment.
    PS…this is a great way to see how many people really enjoy your site!

  • oma_pearl

    I am floored by the audacity of some people who come to your website of their own free will and then leave such vile, hate-filled comments. That is the epitome of rudeness.

    I am fairly new to dooce.com but I’m already a huge fan. I love your honesty even when it isn’t polite or politically correct. I wish I could be that real.

    Keep up the good work, Heather.

    P.S. You have a beautiful family ~ Chuck included!