Leta’s ongoing sinus infection has made it difficult for her to sleep because she can’t figure out how to suck her thumb without suffocating herself. Her naps cut themselves short about two hours too soon, and every morning she calls out so early that she interrupts my recurring nightmare where I’m standing in front of Brad Pitt while all my teeth fall out. I need that dream to finish itself because I always wake up right before I’m about to shove my teeth back in, and it’s important that Brad Pitt understand that I am not normally a toothless woman. Because once he sees that I am teethful, with many teeth, he will have no choice but to take off his shirt.
This morning after I brought her into bed with us I turned on the television so that she could watch her shows while we slept another hour or four. That’s how we’ve been coping with her insane sleep schedule, except this morning the remote control wouldn’t talk to the TiVo box, and for several minutes I tried unsuccessfully to bring up the list of recorded shows. She narrated everything, talked about how I was pushing the buttons! And it’s broken! What happened? TV! TV! WHERE ARE YOU! And then both of us turned to the motionless body still sleeping on the other side of the bed and yelled, “Jooooooonnnnn!” Husband! Father! MAN! FIX IT!
Jon stumbled out of bed, walked over to the Tivo box and inspected a few wires. Leta continued to describe everything, the fact that he was walking over to the TV, was pressing buttons, was fixing it, and then right when he unplugged the television she sighed, settled her head against my shoulder, and said, “Hmmmm… some cookies!”
Like, you know what we need right now? I know what we need right now! This button pressing? It could take a while, and I can see, Mother, that you’re getting frustrated. Why not reward your patience with a little something you wouldn’t normally let me eat this early in the morning, and to show you just how much I understand what you’re going through, I’ll eat them with you.